This week at work, I had three different clients tell me their rituals when they looked at themselves in the mirror. (All this was completely unprovoked by me.)

Client number one talked about how she and a friend had developed this “joke” between them of looking in the mirror and saying: “Damn, I am a beautiful woman.” Or, “Damn, you look good!” She said it started out as just a silly antic between girl friends but it is a habit that she continued for over thirty years. Now this woman is a truly beautiful woman (both inside and out). She said that at first looking in the mirror and repeating this phrase, made her laugh, but now she totally believes what she had been telling herself and has watched herself transform over the years into the beautiful woman that she wanted to be.

Client number two was struggling with feeling lonely and being, “in between chapters” in her life. She decided that for once she was going to be her own best friend. She started looking in the mirror and saying: “I love you. I really, really love you. I am your best friend. The mantra: “I love you. I love you. I love you.” became the phrase that she repeated to herself when in front of her mirror and when going through her day. This client has been doing this for close to a year now, and in that time I have watched her transform into a glowing, loving woman who truly cares for herself and others. She has softened and simoltaneaouly grown in her confidence and self assurance. She is a new person and isn’t lonely anymore either.

Client number three is a healer, and said that a couple of months back she became tired of all of her “striving” to keep her healing practice going and she decided to start looking at herself in the mirror and say: I am a gifted healer. All who can benefit from my services find their way to me now. I am a gifted healer. All who can benefit from my services find their way to me now.” She said, this morning ritual really increased her feelings of confidence and interestingly her healing practice is quite busy at the moment as well.

In yet a fourth example from the week, I was watching the Tony Robbins documentary called, I Am Not Your Guru (available on Netflix, btw.) In the documentary he talked about how he became determined to make a difference in peoples lives and would go on his morning runs and the whole way would be saying to himself: “I am f**king unstoppable! I am f**king unstoppable. He would also practice really embodying and feeling what he was saying. He went on, through much effort and determination, to build an entire industry around helping others.

All four of these people had one thing in common. They decided to start retraining their minds. They felt one thing, and started saying the opposite as a way to elevate their state and change their way of being in their lives.

The thing is, we don’t even have to start off believing what we say. We can retrain the mind, just like we can retrain the body. But it takes repetition and vigilance. Through continual repetition of a chosen phrase, as well as practicing feeling the words we are saying as if they were already true, we can start to change the thought patterns in our brain.

Now, this takes vigilance and patience for the brain does not always like when we try to change it. Much the same way that our body doesn’t always want to exercise when we have become out of shape. But if we continue to repeat these positive phrases, and practice embodying a new attitude as if it is already here, then little by little they begin to take hold and we begin to change.

I felt re-inspired this week by my clients and their stories and began asking myself: What do I say to myself when I look in the mirror? What am I saying to myself as I go through my day? In what way could I elevate my state? What could I say differently that would leave me inspiried? How might my life change if I started to eminate a new vibration? What new actions might I take? What new opportunites might simply find their way to me as I shift and change my way of being? What miracles might transpire?

And so we all could ask ourselves: What do I currently say to myself when I look in the mirror? And what new attitude would I like to cultivate? Would you like greater self love? Greater confidence? Greater creativity? Greater freedom?

As for myself, for now I resonate with: I am a gifted healer and all who can benefit from my services find their way to me. But then again, I also like: I am love and love is all around me. And, I love you. I love you. I love you. Or, simply: I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I tend to like variety, and so maybe, I’ll have two or three affirmations, just to keep it interesting.

So, we can all become more aware of what we are saying to ourselves when we look at the mirror and go through our day. If what we are saying to ourselves isn’t helping us or uplifting us then we can each come up with something empowering and uplifting to say to as we brush our teeth, wash our face, put on makeup, shave or just pass a random mirror. Be aware of how this impacts the quality of your life over time.

Feel free to let me know what phrase you are going to work on, I’d love to hear from you!

P.S. Here is a Tony Robbins affirmation on abundance that I stumbled across last night. Thought I’d share it here,

God’s wealth is circulating in my life. His wealth flows to me in avalanches of abundance. All my needs, desires and goals are met instantaneously because I am one with God, and God is everything.

God’s wealth is circulating in my life. His wealth flows to me in avalanches of abundance. All my needs, desires and goals are met instantaneously because I am one with God, and God is everything.

God’s wealth is circulating in my life. His wealth flows to me in avalanches of abundance. All my needs, desires and goals are met instantaneously because I am one with God, and God is everything.

I was at a family reunion and playing with my three and a half year old niece in the outdoor pool. For my niece, playing in the pool means standing on the first step and staying there. She wants to go in the water and play, but she is afraid of the water and so it is on the first step that we stay.

On this particular day, she suddenly, while holding my hands of course, jumped to the second stair and said look Hayley I’m 2 years old. (Her disappearing legs made her feel shorter, thus younger.) She eyed the third step and before long she jumped onto the third step crying out: Look Hayley I’m 1 years old. (The water now up to her belly). Then she eyed the fourth and final step and quickly jumped back to the first step. She stayed there for a while but then the game started again. This time she went all the way down to the fourth step which fully immersed her body in the water, leaving just her head and neck sticking out. She yelled out: Look Hayley: I’m zero years old. Then she looked at me and cried out with great enthusiasm: Hayley, I used to be scared and now I’m brave. I used to be so scared and now I’m brave.

Her words echoed in my head and it was as if she was mirroring a process I was still in the middle of. It almost seemed like a voice from beyond was speaking through my niece and saying: Hayley, face your fears. Find your bravery.

For you see, I, like all of us, have been dealing with my own fears.

As I sat at the waters edge, holding the hands of my three year old niece, I begin to ponder: How do we move from fear to bravery?

And while I’m no expert at this (and am definitely a work in progress), I’ve been noticing lately that when I remember the power that lies within me, the power of my spirit, this helps me feel strong enough to begin to face my fears.

As my various fears and concerns arise I begin to remind myself that:

I am filled with the power of spirit.

I am powerful.

I am strong.

I am well able.

I am powerful and powerful beings of light are all around me and I never work alone.

I may repeat one or two of the above affirmations all day long, while driving my car, in the pause between events, and/or while doing my day to day activities.

As the various fears arise or as doubts enter my brain, I may repeat the following affirmation as well:

I am powerful.
I am powerful.

There is a place of great power that lies with in me.

I am one with unlimited power.
I am one with unlimited wisdom.
I am one with unlimited abundance.

I expand into my unlimited nature.

I am powerful.
I am powerful.
I am powerful.

As I work with these affirmations I notice, over time, that the fears start subsiding and a feeling of strength begins to arise in my body. My perceptions often change and I begin to perceive the obstacles before me differently.

Is this an instantaneous process? No.

While sometimes this process may work very quickly, it is more often a process that takes many, many repititions (at least for me!)

Have I mastered this art? No, not yet.

But this process has been really helpful for me in working with my fears and doubts as they arise.

I don’t know if this process will be helpful for you, but thought I’d share it here in case you too, have fears that arise and you are looking for constructive ways to work them.

While the fears may not vanish all at once, I have found that this process helps them to subside and helps me to find my bravery so that I can jump to the next step in the deep waters ahead.

~Hayley Mermelstein
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