What if all of life is a mirror? What if life is mirroring back some part of our own consciousness? For example I have an unappreciative friend. The more I do for her the less she seems to appreciate it. It occurred to me the other day that perhaps she is mirroring a part of me that doesn’t appreciate myself.

I can talk to my friend. I can ask her to be more appreciative. (And maybe I will.) But perhaps I’m trying to change the mirror. If she is reflecting back some part of myself perhaps it would be equally (if not more) helpful for me to address the issue in myself.

How could I appreciate myself more?
Do I appreciate myself or am I self critical?
How could I honor and value myself more?

I’ve been reflecting on all this recently. I do in fact see my friend as a reminder from life for me to love and appreciate myself. The more she models this lack of appreciation, the more of a reminder it is for me to focus on loving and appreciating myself.

In the case of my friend: I have compassion (she is going through hell right now.) And in self respect I’ve taken a few steps back from the connection. But perhaps most importantly I’ve started a self love and self appreciation practice.

What is instead of trying to get the people around us to love, value and appreciate us we gave it to ourselves? What if the more we loved and appreciated ourselves in a genuine way, the more that love and appreciation began to be mirrored back to us? What if all of life is a mirror showing us where we need to heal? What if all of life is mirroring some aspect of our own inner consciousness? What if the only person we are ever talking to is ourselves? What if the only person we are here to fix is us?

And so for today I won’t beg for my friend to see me or appreciate me or value me. (Though I may bring it up if it feels appropriate.). For today I will practice loving myself. For today I will value myself. And for today I will deeply, deeply appreciate myself.

So often we are trying to change the world out there. So often we want others to see us, appreciate us, and value us. And while this is important, what if they are just mirroring back some aspect of our own inner world. What if the real healing is for us to love ourselves? What if the real healing is for us to appreciate and value ourselves? What if the real healing is for us to give ourself that kindness and care?

For today perhaps we can practice loving and appreciating ourselves and then see what shows up differently when we show up differently? For today perhaps we can take the time to really notice what changes when we change.

From this place of self love we may choose to address the issues that present in our lives for this can be an act of self care. But perhaps more importantly we will see the external world as a mirror showing us what we need to change inside of ourselves.

As we love and value ourselves perhaps either the people around us will love and value us more or perhaps some will fall away and new people will arrive. Or perhaps the more we love and value ourselves the less me are affected by those around us and we can give them space to learn and grow.

I’m still exploring this concept. And so for today I will focus on loving myself, valuing myself and appreciating myself rather than demanding this from the external world.

Maybe all of life is a mirror. And maybe, just maybe instead of trying to change the world out there the only person I need to change and heal is me.