If you listen deeply enough….

I once heard it said: That is you listen deeply enough the people around you will unravel into their own answers. This simple sentence has been echoing in my mind for over ten years now. It’s been a slow re- learning for me and sometimes I forget. A lot of times I forget.

But lately, I’ve been remembering more and more.

If you listen deeply enough the people around you will unravel into their own answers.

To listen in this way we must be patient, because this can take some time. To listen in this way we must be humble, for it is no longer about us being the wise advisor saving our wounded and injured clients, friends and family members.

To listen in this way we become the humble servant creating space for the wise one in front of us to unfold into the wisdom that lies within them.

Seek to get out of the way when you listen. Seek to create a deep space for others to unfold. Seek to listen as deeply as you can so that others can unravel into their own answers. Do not seek to be the healer. Do not seek to be the wise one. Do not worry about what you need to say or do. Seek instead to listen as deeply as you can. Seek to remember that the one you are listening to has tremendous wisdom in them and if you listen deeply enough they will unravel into their own knowing.

Pull up a chair and seek to listen as deeply as you can. Watch in wonder as the person in front of you slowly unfolds into their own knowing.

When you listen in this way you will know when it is your turn to speak and when it is your turn to listen. But more often than not you will remain silent more of the time. More often than not your main job will be to hold space for someone to access their own wisdom and inner knowing.

Let this be your experiment with life.

See how deeply you can listen as you go through your day today. How deeply can you listen to yourself? How deeply can you listen to others? How deeply can you listen to the whispers of spirit that are all around you?

Resist the urge to jump in prematurely with your words of wisdom or advice giving. Trust that you will know if and when it is your time to speak.

Seek instead to see how deeply you can listen. Remember that the person before you has a depth of wisdom in them and that when given the right kind of time and attention can unfold into this wisdom.

Again let this be your experiment with life.

Listen deeply to yourself.
Listen deeply to others.
Listen deeply to whispers of spirit all around you.

And above all else, listen in such a way that you allow others to unravel into their own answers.

Do not just take my word for it either. Let this truly be your experiment with life. It truly is amazing what happens when you listen deeply.

And so listen deeply today and allow yourself and others to unravel into their own answers. Listen deeply and see what unfolds. Listen deeply and observe what wisdom arises from your own being and observe what wisdom arises from others.

This will take time and patience.

One of the reasons you do not listen deeply is because you are in a rush. Give others the gift of your time and patience.

(When it is yours to give.)

In listening deeply you will know what conversations are yours to have and which are not the ones that are right for you.

In listening deeply you will know when it is time to talk and when it is time to listen.

In listening deeply you will know when it is time to start a conversation and when it is time to end a conversation.

In listening deeply you will know what will best serve the oneness.

So devote today to listening deeply:

Listen deeply to yourself.
Listen deeply to others.
Listen deeply to the whispers of spirit all around you.

See what wisdom unravels in yourself and others when you listen in this way.

Allow this to be your experiment with life today.

~Hayley Mermelstein

The Heart is Meant to Radiate Like the Sun

The heart is meant to shine like the sun. Allow your heart to shine now. Allow your heart to shine brightly. See your heart like a radiant sun.

Start with self love.

Affirm:

I love myself.
I love myself.
I love myself.

Even if you are not sure if you believe it yet, just allow yourself to repeat this simple affirmation again and again.

I love myself.
I love myself.
I love myself.

How many times a day can you say this to yourself?

What might heal in your body, in your mind, and in your life if you kept repeating this to yourself?

Let this be your experiment with life.

Do not underestimate its tremendous power of love to heal both yourself and others.

The Heart is meant to shine.
Allow your heart to shine brightly now.

See a radiant sun in the center of your chest. Allow it to grow brighter and brighter now.

Affirm:

I am love and love is all around me.
I am love and love is all around me.
I am love and love is all around me.

Allow the heart to love.
Allow the heart to shine.

Allow the heart to be bright now.

Generate love.
Allow love to flow through you.

Alllow everyone to be a receipent of your love.

Everyone is flawed.
Everyone is learning.
Everyone is making mistakes.

Love them anyway.

The heart is meant to shine like the sun.
So allow your heart to shine.

Take your own inventory but allow others to be as they are.

Flawed.
Wounded.
Entitled.
Self absorbed.

Your test is to keep your heart open in the face of these wounds.

We can speak of love and light but your challenge is to love the wounded places both within yourself and others.

Allow your heart to be like the sun
Offer your light and your love to everyone.

Allow your heart to love while simultaneously staying discerning about your right relationship with those you interact.

Love all but practice wisdom.
Be wise about who you allow into your life.

Love all but stay aware of the limitations of those with whom you interact.

Love all but be discerning about who you invite for dinner.

Love all, including yourself.

Let this be your grand experiment with life.
What shows up differently when you show up differently.

I love myself; therefore….

I love myself and therefore, I am open to receive.

I love myself and therefore, I am open to healing.

I love myself and therefore, I am open to the light.

I love myself and therefore, I am open to love.

I love myself and therefore, I am open to abundance.

I love myself and therefore, I am open to adventure.

I love myself and therefore, I am open to new experiences.

I love myself and therefore, I am open to new opportunities.

I love myself and therefore, I am open to newness.

I love myself and therefore, I am open to the powerful beings of light that are all around me.

I love myself and therefore, I am open to divine guidance.

I love myself and therefore, I am open to miracles.

I love myself and therefore, I know that I deserve goodness.

I love myself and therefore, I am open to all that life wants to bring to me.

I love myself and therefore, I am open to the very best that life has to offer.

I love myself and therefore, I am open to the very best that life has to offer.

I love myself and therefore I trust the process of life.

I love myself and therefore I trust life is working with me to manifest what I need.

I love myself and therefore I expect the best possible outcome.

I love myself and therefore I allow myself to be spontaneous.

I love myself and therefore I allow myself to step into my greatness.

I love myself and therefore I make wise decisions.

I love myself and therefore I know and honor my needs.

I love myself and therefore I know my clear priorities.

I love myself and therefore I believe in myself.

I love myself and therefore I value myself.

I love myself and therefore I have confidence in myself.

I love myself and therefore I have confidence that life is working with me to manifest what I need.

I love myself and therefore I allow myself to step into my power.

I love myself and therefore, I don’t hold back.

I love myself and therefore I am fully expressive.

I love myself and therefore I express my needs.

I love myself and therefore I allow myself to be genuine.

I love myself and therefore I am myself.

I love myself and therefore I allow myself to be imperfect.

I love myself and therefore I allow myself to be a student of life.

I love myself and therefore I know that mistakes are necessary for learning and growth.

I love myself and therefore I can accept both compliments and crititcism, for I understand that I learn from both.

I love myself and therefore I know that I am good and that I am learning.

I love myself and therefore I offer myself kindness and care.

I love myself and therefore I forgive myself.

I love myself and therefore I forgive others.

I love myself and therefore I offer compassion to myself.

I love myself and therefore I offer compassion to others.

I love myself and therefore I allow love into my life.

I love myself and therefore I am discerning about who I allow into my life.

I love myself and therefore I am open to love.

I love myself and therefore I am courageous.

I love myself and therefore I am both cautious and courageous.

I love myself and therefore I offer myself radical self acceptance.

I love myself and therefore no feeling of mine is banished.

I love myself and therefore I accept all parts of myself.

I love myself and therefore I honor my strengths.

I love myself and therefore I embrace my weaknesses.

I love myself and therefore I allow myself to experience peace.

I love myself and therefore I surrender control.

I love myself and therefore I can say yes.

I love myself and therefore I can say no.

I love myself and therefore I can act.

I love myself and therefore I can wait.

I love myself and therefore I can speak and I can listen.

I love myself and therefore I need no validation.

I love myself and therefore I know who I am.

I love myself and therefore I allow my creativity to flow.

I love myself and therefore I give myself permission to just be.

I love myself and therefore I give myself permission to strive for more.

I love myself and therefore I allow things to unfold in their own time.

I love myself and therefore I step into my humility.

I love myself and therefore I allow myself to be enough as I am.

I love myself and therefore I attend to my mind, body and spirit everyday.

I love myself and therefore I am disciplimed.

I love myself completely.

I love myself completely.

I love myself completely.

Be aware of what shows up differently in your life, when you show up differently.

Be aware of what changes when you change.

Be aware of what changes when you truly and deeply learn to love yourself.

I will be doing this grand experiment with life right along with you.

What about me?

It was late one evening (during non social distancing times) and we were having a big family sleep over at my parents home. Which basically meant that there were six adults and four kids under the age of 12 sleeping pretty much everywhere.

I traditionally have had the job of tucking the kids in.

In addition to helping them get ready for bed, I had gotten into the habit of giving each of the kids a short back massage to help them unwind. They enjoyed it and it was good bonding time for us.

Well, the 11 year old niece, who was actually only nine at the time, had made a couple of comments about how my back rubs were weird and felt funny and so I took that to mean that she didn’t particularly enjoy them.

I had no problem with this. One less kid to give a back rub to, I thought to myself.

It would actually make the night time routine a little less labor intensive!

So anyway, it’s night time and I get all of the kids tucked in. I give a back rub to the older kids and then kiss the 9 year old niece good night, shut off the light and head downstairs.

Suddenly, in the dark I hear a little indignant voice say: Hey, what about me?

It’s my niece and I can tell she is feeling slighted.

I answer back, I thought you didn’t like my back rubs. She answers back, I didn’t say that. I want to be included too.

Oh, I’m sorry I say. I misunderstood.

And, I head back up the stairs to give one more child a little extra attention and some TLC.

But while I’m walking up the stairs I am thinking how my niece is my teacher.

If the tables were turned, and I was nine and she was the adult, I don’t think I would have spoken up. I think I would have laid in bed feeling rejected, feeling left out, and feeling hurt.

I so admired that little voice in the night that spoke up and didn’t just sit with her pain. I admired that she could ask for what she needed. I admired that she could say, Hey, what about me?

And so I laid down next to my niece and rubbed her back for a while. She seemed very content and relaxed and then she asked very sweetly: Can you rub my head for a little while, that is actually my favorite part.

I nodded and I granted her request.

And with that, the nine year old smiled and drifted peacefully off to sleep.

And in the quiet of the night, I smiled too. You got a love a girl who can ask for what she needs.

Sweet dreams everyone.

~Hayley Mermelstein

Learning to be a warrior

This summer, during sunnier days, my 11 year old niece (who realizes I’m a little different from the rest of the family) asked if I could do a past life regression on her. I said yes, not realizing what was about to transpire.

I had her relax and imagine gold light filling her body. I had her close her eyes and walk down a flight of stairs into a past life.

She walked down the flight of stairs in her minds eye and boom, she was off and running. She started describing her family life from a different time and different place. There were huts and fires and family and a boat. The boat keep coming up.

I continued to walk her through the regression when suddenly she was on the boat and cannons were being shot at the boat that she was on and she was afraid. She said she thought she was at war and cannons were being shot at the boat.

Suddenly, i become afraid.

Shit, I thought to myself, what have I done. I’ve regressed my eleven year old niece into a past life where cannons are being shot at her.

A fear of accidentally traumatizing my beloved niece overcame me.

It’s to late now, i thought to myself. I need to see this through.

So, back to my niece.

She is half hypnotized describing the scene where cannons are being shot at her boat and suddenly everything goes black and she says: i’m not seeing anything anymore. I just feel quiet and peaceful.

There is a long pause.

I ask her if she has died.

She pauses back, and says yes, she has died.

I sit for a moment and then I ask her to stay in this meditative state and ask what was she learning in that life time. I asked her to listen quietly and allow an answer to come to her.

About ten seconds pass. She pauses and says:

I was learning to be a warrior.
I was learning to be strong.

I allow another moment to pass and allow her space to take in the message.

I slowly guide her back.

She opens her eyes, looks right at me and says: That was really cool.

She then promptly runs off to play with the other kids in the water.

I breathe a sigh of relief. She is okay.

By God: She is a warrior.

Can you hear the words beneath the words?

Once I was listening deeply to a friend who was talking about leaving her husband. I was practicing deep listening at the time and was giving all of my attention to this. (i.e. I wasn’t thinking about what I needed to say in response or multitasking or advice giving. I was just listening.)

As my friend talked about leaving her husband I heard a deeper part of her tell me that she would never leave him because of their money situation. I heard the words beneath the words. When I listened in this way, I had access to much more information than I normally would have. It wasn’t subtle. Actually, it felt like a super power. When I focused on really listening, I was amazed at the information that I had access to.

Practice deep listening today. See how deeply you can listen.

What do you hear when you listen in this way? Can you hear the words beneath the words?

Let this be your experiment with life today. Listen to the words beneath the words. YOu may be amazed at what you discover.

Let Your Heart Love Who it Loves

And the universe whispers to me in a quiet moment;

Let yourself love who you love.
Do not close down to protect yourself.

But what if I get hurt? I ask.

Let yourself love who you love.
Let go of your resistance to what is.

But what if I am rejected? I ask.

Let yourself love who you love.
Do not block in ignorance or fear of rejection.

But everyone thinks I am crazy. I reply.

Let yourself love who you love and
Let go of the well meaning but limited opinions of others.

Simply love.
Simply shine.
Simply radiate.

Let yourself love who you love.

Let go of all of your attachments to external form or how things will evolve.

Let all that go and allow yourself to love who you love.

Let your heart shine.
The heart is meant to radiate light and love.

And so let your heart love who it loves and
Work on your own healing

Let your heart love who you love and
Let it be enough.

Let your heart love who you love and
Be at peace.

It is a blessing to be on the planet at the same time as another with whom you have a bond.

Let it be enough and be thankful and
Let your heart love who you love.

Let go of the fear of being hurt.
Let go of the fear of being rejected.
Let go of the fear of not being good enough.
Let go of the voices that say it will never work.

Simply let go and allow the heart to love who it loves.

Let go and do the only work you can do.
Let go and devote yourself to own healing.

Let go and let yourself be who you are.

Let go and be the best you can be.
Let go and offer the contribution that you came to offer.

Let go and let your heart shine and radiate.
Let go and allow your heart to love who it loves.

Let go and be content with what is.
Let go and allow life to unfold.

Let go and be patient.

Everyone is in a healing process.
Let go and be okay with this.

Let go and understand.

Let go and work on your own healing.
Let go and save the only person you can save.

Let go of all resistance to what is.

Let go.
Let go.

Let go and be at peace.

Let go and when the time is right all shall be revealed.
Let go and when the time is right you will unravel into your own knowing.

Let go and allow life to unfold.

Let go and let it be.
Let go and let it be.

Speaking words of wisdom: Let it be.

Let go and let your heart love who it loves.
Let go and let your heart love who it loves.

~Hayley Mermelstein

Big Being of Acceptance

Not sure what happened today but while I was meditating I turned into a big being of acceptance. I mean a really, big, being of acceptance. Like I turned into the whole universe sort of big.

I was mediating and sort of minding my own business when it happened. Well, I guess in the back ground I was thinking about how flawed all of us humans are and that if we are to get along with each other at all we are going to have to accept that each of us is deeply wounded in one way or another. (I was talking to myself, I guess, in the middle of this meditation).

And then it happened. I became big. I became the universe, and I was filled with a deep, deep acceptance and this acceptance filled the whole universe. And then this acceptance went to my parents and filled them with acceptance and I saw that I could fill them with this acceptance and it would help there relationship. And then it went to my flawed friends (we are all flawed) and it filled and soothed them and then it went to my clients and everyone in my universe was filled with acceptance and was soothed.

For a moment in time, I was larger than life, breathing acceptance into all my children.

And then the experience slowly retracted and I was back to myself.

But a little different.

A psychic once told me that I held too high a standard in relationships and that I wanted a perfection that didn’t exist. As I get older, I’m slowly learning that there is no perfect relationship and part of my job is to deeply accept and allow all that is showing up in my world. It’s not my job to change it. It’s my job to accept it and my acceptance acts as a healing balm going out into the world and soothing the masses. My acceptance helps to heal all the imbalances that present in my day.

I’m not sure that I fully understand this yet or can articulate it all that well. But this seems to be part of my New Years message and learning.

As i reflect, these questions come to mind:

How much acceptance can you breath into your universe?

How deeply can you accept all these deeply flawed human beings that show up at your doorstep?

Can you be a soothing balm that helps to heal the fractured masses?

I saw today that acceptance soothes and heals all that it touches.

I don’t want to argue today.

Today, I offer you my deep acceptance. I may do it imperfectly. But I will keep working on it.

The world is in turmoil and on fire.

Perhaps it is our acceptance that starts to turn the tide in a new direction.

What happens when we accept what is unacceptable?

Does the unacceptable get louder or does it begin to calm down?

What happens when we accept what is unacceptable?

Do we become passive or does our lack of reaction create a deep clarity about how to best proceed?

Allow this to be your experiment today, if you feel so inspired.

Breath a deep acceptance into your universe. Accept everything that arises. Welcome all the flawed players in your universe (you don’t have to invite them all to dinner, btw!) Just allow them to be as they are: broken, damaged, wounded, brilliant, insightful, caring, mangled, and clueless, shining clarity, etc..etc.. Let it all be and offer a deep acceptance to all.

Be aware of what shows up differently as you show up differently.

By the way, when I turned into a big being of acceptance today. My acceptance went out to all of you too. I hope you felt it.

Happy New Year.

Warmly,
Hayley Mermelstein

Honesty

Will you still be my friend if I tell you the truth?

Can you handle the truth?

Will you risk your truth with me?

Will you be an open book?

How much honesty can you take?

How much honesty can you give?

How much do you value the truth?

Or do you prefer a lie?

What is it you want from your relationships?

Do you want honesty?

Do you want a soft place to fall?

Do you want truth or

Do you prefer sugarcoating?

What is it that you want to receive in relationship?

And what is it that you want to give?

How much honesty can you bring to the table?

How much compassion?

How much kindness?

Can you be filled with compassion and deeply honest
all at the same time?

How deeply will you ponder these questions?

As for me:

I want your truth and I want your honesty and
I want your compassion.

Will you still be my friend if I tell you the truth?
Is it a sign of weakness that I even ask?

~Hayley Mermelstein

Even Though

Even Though.

Even though you have made many mistakes.
I love you anyway.

Even though you have said yes, when you should have said no.
I love you anyway.

Even though you said no, when you should have said yes.
I love you anyway.

Even though you feel resentment when you want to feel compassion.
I love you anyway.

Even though you feel uncertain when you want to feel certainty.
I love you anyway.

Even though you wake up anxious some days.
I love you anyway.

Even though you feel hate sometimes.
I love you anyway.

Even though you thought you were right but you were wrong.
I love you anyway.

Even though you said the wrong thing.
I love you anyway.

Even though you wanted to speak up and you didn’t.
I love you anyway.

Even though you wanted to save more money but didn’t know how.
I love you anyway.

Even though you are a late bloomer.
I love you anyway.

Even though you are an adult but feel like a child sometimes.
I love you anyway.

Even though there is a place of great power in you and sometimes you hide it.

I love you anyway.

Even though you are imperfect, flawed, wounded and lost somedays.
I love you anyway.

Can you love all parts of yourself?

Can you love the hatred?
Can you love the betrayal?
Can you love the mistakes?

Can you love the lack of acceptance?
Can you love the lack of love?

Can you love all of you?

This is what is being asked of you today.

Love all of you.
Just the way you are.

No need to change to be loved.
No need to be perfect.

Show up to the dance as you.

Wounded.
Flawed.
Scared.
Messy.

Powerful.
Wise.
Beautiful.
Whole.

Human.
Divine.

Humility.
Greatness.

Simple.
Complicated.

Let all of you be welcome today.
Dance with it all.

Nothing to hide.
Nothing to protect.

No where to go.

Raw.
Real.
Genuine.
Authentic.
Honest.

You.

It is when you can love all of you that you will begin to heal.

When you suppress that which you don’t like it festers like an open wound beneath the surface.

And so love all of you.
Even the parts that don’t know how to love.
For however long it takes.

To sooth your soul.

Love all of you.
For however long it takes.

To heal.

Love all of you.
For however long it takes

To find the peace that you desire.

Love all of you.
For however long it takes

And become a beacon of light and love.

Love all of you.
For however long it takes

And become the real you.

Imperfect, flawed, wounded.
Beautiful, powerful, wise, whole.

Real.
Authentic.

Perfectly, imperfect.
You.

~Hayley Mermelstein