I am open and I stand in my conviction.

We had a really nice meditation class this past Thursday. The topic was standing in your convictions and being open, all at the same time. My understanding is that if you are only in your convictions you will become rigid and if you are only open you will be like a leaf in the wind. And so, ultimately we want to blend the two so that we are strong in our convictions, while simeoutaneously being as open as we can. From this blend of conviction and openness, a natural knowing as to how to navigate the complexity of our lives comes into sharper view.

For example, I meditated on a challenging relationship that I have with a colleague and from the balance of openness and conviction I was able to see that this colleague was having a hard time and was out of balance right now. From that awareness came a natural compassion along with an understanding that it was best to step back and stay out of harms way for a while.

I wrote a short meditation on the subject of openness and conviction and thought I’d share some of it here. If you would like to explore these and other topics (such as opening the heart, stepping into wisdom, building confidence, or coupling deep listening with full expression) feel free to stop by our Thursday night meditation class. The class is drop in, is $25.00/class and is open to the public and is held at 800 Main Street in Amherst (middle door in the front of the building.)

Its an engaging and interesting class that we deepen your meditation abilities and your abilities to listen deeply, as well as provide real tools that can help all us of to navigate the complexities of every day life. I look forward to seeing you at our group! If you have any questions, feel free to email or call me!

Openness and Conviction

I am open.
I am open.
I am open.

I am open to healing.
I am open to the light.
I am open to new opportunities.
I am open to a new point of view.
I am open to seeing things differently.
I am open to positive change.
I am open to new adventures.
I am open to new people.
I am open to new friendships.
I am open to love.

I am open.
I am open.
I am open.

Pause and see how being open feels.

Affirm:

I am open.
I am open.

I am open to divine guidance.
I am open to divine assistance.
I am open to newness.
I am open to new opportunities flooding my life.
I am open and my openness draws new opportunities to me.
I am as open as I can be.

I am open.
I am open.

Pause again and see how open you can be.

And now this time affirm:

I stand in my conviction.
I stand in my conviction.

I am filled with certainty.
I am strong.
I am powerful.
I am courageous.
I am confident.

I stand in my conviction.
I stand in my conviction.

I know how I feel.
I know what to do.
I know what to say.

I am certain.
I am confident.
I am powerful.
I am strong.
I am courageous.

I stand in my conviction.
I stand in my conviction.

Feel the strength and the power that comes from standing in your convictions.
Let yourself grow stronger as you stand firm and steady in the truth of who you are.

And now this time, lets combine the two.

I stand in my conviction and I am open.
I stand in my conviction and I am open.
I stand in my conviction and I am open.

See how open you can be as you go through your life.
See how strong and in your conviction you can be.

Put the two together .

Balance your strong conviction with openness and the awareness that everything changes and new insights and opportunities and course changes can come at any moment.
Be strong in who you are but remain open and flexible in the awareness that every moment is new and things are always changing.

Affirm frequently:

I am open and I stand in my conviction.
I am open and I stand in my conviction.
I am open and I stand in my conviction.

As you find this inner balance inside of yourself, a natural clarity and knowing about how to best navigate the complexity of every day life will arise.

Hayley Mermelstein
c.2016

Accepting the apology that you never received.

“Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.”~ Robert Brault

I had a dream a few nights back about a friend whom I had a falling out with several years ago. In the dream, I went to her with the hopes of receiving an apology for all that had transpired between us (I had already apologized for my part of our falling out.). I was ready to let go and forgive and move on. The only thing I needed was her to apologize and own her part, and then I could finally be free. In the dream she acted as if nothing had ever happened between us and seemed oblivious to my pain. In the dream I started to cry and actually started begging her to see my suffering and apologize. She looked past me and started talking about something inconsequential.

I awoke knowing that I would never get the apology that I desired.

What is a poor soul to do?

As I have reflected on this dream and this relationship, I realized that I had given my power away. I wanted resolve, I wanted healing, I wanted to forgive and move on. I didn’t want to damage my body with anger or hurt or feelings of betrayal anymore. But in order to be free I had constructed a scenario where I needed an apology from someone who was never particularly good at being sensitive to my feelings.

I realized that “needing” an apology to feel complete or resolved was, in a sense, putting my freedom into someone else’s hands. “If they apologize, then I can fully forgive and move on. If they apologize, I can find the resolve I am looking for. If they acknowledge my pain, I can be free.”

In my moment of awakening (literally) I realized that I could take my power back. I realized that my friend’s process was really her business. My process was my business. And so I decided to take my power back and give myself full permission to forgive, let go, and find the resolve that I desired. I decided to accept the apology that I never received.

And then I wrote the following affirmation to assist me in this process:

I forgive you.

I forgive you.
I forgive you.

You are good and you are learning and
You are flawed, just like everyone is flawed.

You are human and you are learning, and you are spirit and you are filled with greatness.

You have strengths and you have weaknesses.

I acknowledge your strengths and your gifts, and I forgive your flaws.

You are learning and growing just like everyone else.

I forgive you.
I forgive you.

In forgiving you, I set myself free.
In forgiving you, I free myself from my pain.
In forgiving you, my body is healed and I am made whole.

I forgive you, and I am free and you are free.

I forgive you and I thank you for teaching me what you came to teach me.
I forgive you and I thank you for teaching me not to be so naïve in relationship.

I forgive you and I thank you for teaching me to not make my healing contingent on something outside of myself.

I forgive you and I thank you for teaching me to step into my full power and stop playing the victim.

I forgive you and I thank you for the friendship shared and the lessons learned.

I forgive you and I set you free.
I forgive you and I set myself free.

May you find peace and
May I find peace.

The earth is a school.
We have come for growth and we have come for learning and we have come for enjoyment and for service.

May I grow and learn and may you grow and learn.
May healing come to both of us.

A plate of forgiveness, understanding and compassion all around.

I accept your apology.
I am whole and complete now.

And, I forgive myself too.

I forgive myself for my mistakes.
I forgive myself for my flaws.
I forgive myself for the times I was insensitive or out of alignment or out of balance.

I forgive you and I forgive myself.

Our union was a karmic one filled with joy, and learning, and love, and pain.

I forgive.
I forgive.

I forgive and I understand.
I forgive and I understand.
I forgive and I understand.

~Hayley Mermelstein

Have a good weekend everyone and if you feel inspired, join us for our Free Tong Ren Chakra Balancing Teleclass Sunday August 7th. The call in number is: 413-259-8048. I look forward to joining you on the call!