Love is my meditation.

I was walking on a beach in Cancun with 900 other classmates, headphones on, doing my walking meditation when suddenly the guided meditation that I was listening to stopped working.  I froze for a moment unsure of what to do or how to proceed.

Suddenly, a workshop volunteer appeared and offered to help with my phone and meditation.  Within minutes he got it working again and I could hear the guided meditation.  I was flooded with appreciation for this volunteer and was expressing it profusely.

He turned to me and said, “ I am totally happy to help, love is my meditation.:

His words reverberated in my head.

Love is my meditation.

What would it be like to make love my meditation, I wondered?  Here I am on a 7-day meditation retreat, could I go home and make love my mediation?  I felt inspired by the challenge I was thinking about implementing.

Fast forward six month later.

I have plans with a friend but circumstances change and I unexpectedly need to cancel.  She is upset and disappointed with me….again.

I begin to feel guilty, misunderstood and resentful.  Can’t she see that I have needs too?  Can’t she see that I’m not just here to serve her?  Can’t she see that she holds me to a higher standard than she holds herself?

Stop.

I catch myself.

I’m feeling like a victim.  Running the poor me, no one understands me tape.

What if love really was my meditation, like, right now.

I’m driving as I have this thought and so right there and then as I’m turning right at the red light I start meditating on love as I drive (with eyes open of course!)

Love.
Love.
Love.

Love is my meditation.

I say to myself.  Allowing myself to feel the vibration of the words.

Love.
Love.
Love.

But it’s not fair, she has a double standard.  She holds me to a higher standard than she holds herself, my analytical mind retorts.

Love is my meditation; I shoot back at my brain that desperately wants to run its familiar tapes.

Love.
Love.
Love.

Feel it.
Embody it.

(I say to myself.)

Love is my mediation.
Love is my meditation.

And so I drive along this way for another minute or two. Overcoming the voices that want me to be a victim, misunderstood, and alone, and meditating instead on love.

I don’t’ wait till I get home.  I don’t wait until I’m in a formal meditation.  I just keep repeating, feeling, and embodying the mantra:

Love.
Love.
Love.

And slowly my heart begins to open again and I am feeling love and a new thought enters my head (In my now more elevated state my mind is more coherent and I am able to hear guidance)and I hear a male voice say to me:  You are modeling self-care, something she knows nothing about.

And suddenly everything changes.  I am no longer hurt.  I am no longer feeling misunderstood   I am no longer feeling resentful.

Suddenly I see what is so obvious.

My friend doesn’t know how to take care of herself and so she gets resentful and upset when I model self-care.  If I can stay steady, then I model a new way of being for her and subtly give her permission to take care of herself too.

If I get upset and hurt at her lack of understanding of me, I muddy the waters and we both get caught in a cycle of frustration and reactivity.

She may hear the message I’m sending now, or it may take years or even life times to sink in.  But now  rather than feeling misunderstood I feel like a role model.   Instead of feeling hurt and victimized, I feel compassion for my friend who works herself to the bone and spends her life meeting the needs of others without any thought or consideration of her own needs.   I am flooded with true love and understanding.

Life gives us many opportunities within a day to practice love as our meditation.  In fact, perhaps its better to start cultivating the feeling of love before the need even arises, so that we are more prepared for the tests that life will inevitability throw our way.

The theory is that when you can maintain an elevated state, such as love, for an extended period of time, your heart comes into greater balance and creates something called heart coherence.  When your heart becomes coherent it sends a clear signal to your brain which causes the brain to become coherent.  When your heart and brain are coherent, you become coherent.

When you find yourself in these more balanced states, your health can improve, you mind can settle and you can gain access to greater wisdom and clarity, and decision making can become easier.

So practice love as your meditation today and practice achieving greater coherence in your heart and brain and see what miracles unfold in your body, mind and life.

I’ll be practicing right along with you, doing the work that is challenging to do  and yet can pay such high dividends.

And If you live in New England, have a nice snow day!

Sincerely,

Hayley Mermelstein

P.S. After writing this blog, I also realized that my friend is also a teacher for me.  She is teaching me to not be such a people pleaser and do my best to listen to guidance rather than try to please those around me.  Its an ongoing lesson and experiment in trial and error for sure.

 

 

Your Inner Roommate is Trying to Kill You.

I was reading a book called The Untethered Soul some time ago and early in the book the author had you personify the voice in your head.  In other words, he had you imagine that the voice in your head was your inner roommate.  He wanted you to listen to how this inner roommate is talking to you.  He pointed out that inevitably you realize that your inner roommate is trying to kill you and that if such a person actually existed you would quickly eliminate them from your life.

Recently, I was listening to some of the things that my inner roommate was saying to me, and I too decided that, in fact, my inner roommate was trying to kill me.

So I wrote a letter to myself, the kind that I would want to receive from a loving friend or parent.

I thought I’d share the letter with all of you, in case you too have an inner roommate that is trying to do you in.

We must all learn to overcome the voices in our head that are trying to sabotage us our efforts and rise up into our own power and strength.

This is not an easy task and in the words of a teacher of mine, if this was easy, everyone would do it.

And yet, still, the task remains: To replace the violent inner roommate who is trying to keep us small (it feels safer that way) with a wonderful inner cheerleader who supports our expansion and growth.

Here is my love letter from the divine.

I hope it softens the voices in your head and allows you to go forward with a little more strength and confidence today.

Read frequently for it takes some time to retrain the voices in our head.

Tell yourself what you long to hear.

And remember, in the words of Vincent Van Gogh:

“If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.”

Love letter from the divine.

I love you.
I love you.

You can do this.

I love you.
I love you.

You are powerful.

I love you.
I love you.

You are beautiful.

I love you.
I love you.

I believe in you.

I love you.
I love you.

You deserve goodness.

I love you.
I love you.

You got this.

I love you.
I love you.

Rise up.

I love you.
I love you.

You are capable.

I love you.
I love you.

You are strong.

I love you.
I love you.

You are a genius.

I love you.
I love you.

You are creative.

I love you.
I love you.

Open to receive.

I love you.
I love you.

You are magnificient.

I love you.
I love you.

You deserve goodness.

I love you.
I love you.

Stop scaring yourself.

I love you.
I love you.

You are never alone.

I love you.
I love you.

Powerful beings of light are all around you.

I love you.
I love you.

All of life is conspiring in your favor.

I love you.
I love you.

All of life is working with you to manifest what you need.

I love you.
I love you.

One touch of divine favor changes everything.

I love you.
I love you.

Expand your idea of what you are capable of.

I love you.
I love you.

You can bring expansion into your life.

I love you.
I love you.

You are more than enough.

I love you.
I love you.

Stop playing small.

I love you.
I love you.

The divine is everywhere.

I love you.
I love you.

You are surrounded in light.

I love you.
I love you.

Let us work with you to manifest what you need.

I love you.
I love you.

You are supported.

I love you.
I love you.

Devote yourself to service.

I love you.
I love you.

We are walking you home.

I love you.
I love you.

Be kinder to yourself.

I love you.
I love you.

Stop scaring yourself.

I love you.
I love you.

You can do this.
You can do this.

I love you.
I love you.

You deserve goodness.
You deserve goodness.

Open to receive.
Open to receive.

Be strong.
Be powerful.
Be confident.

And remember that you are never alone.

You got this.
We believe in you.

I love you.
I love you.
I love you.

~Hayley Mermelstein

Have a good week everyone, and if you live locally feel free to join us for our live group healing on Monday the 14th or join us on Thursday nights for our wonderful meditation group.  We would love to see you!

Group Healing January 14th:

Our next group healing will be Monday January 14 from 7-8:30 at 800 Main Street, Amherst Ma. (middle door in the front of the building.)  The fee is $15.00.

This is a wonderful evening of healing, community, laughter, enjoyment and elevated states of consciousness.

Come for yourself, come to contribute to the healing of others, come to raise your vibration and the vibration of the planet.

Little by little, we rise up, raise our vibration, elevate our state and contribute to the healing of ourselves, our community, and our world.

Be part of the revolution.

Together we create a light that brings healing to ourselves, our family and friends, our community and our world.

Please join us!

Sincerely,

Hayley Mermelstein

Becoming Uncommon

I was meditating this morning and I heard a teachers voice in my head and he said, “If you want the uncommon, you must become uncommon.”

What did he mean by that, you may ask?

He meant if you want to have new and unusual experiences in your life you have to live life  differently than the average person.

You have to learn to give while everyone else is taking.

You have to learn to love while everyone else if judging.

You have to learn to listen while everyone else if talking.

You have to learn to be selfless while everyone else is being selfish.

You have to learn to stay calm while everyone else is reacting.

You have to learn to look honestly while everyone else is avoiding.

These are not easy tasks, and yet it is what is asked of us. We are asked to model a new way of being and to be willing to be a beacon of hope and light  in a world filled with darkness. The challenge of this is sometimes we must stand alone for a while until other like minded people can find their way to us.

But for now be willing to stand alone. Be willing to model a new way. Be willing to take the road less traveled. Be willing to be uncommon.

Practice offering love even in the face of judgementalness or unkindness. Practice giving while others are taking. Practice listening while others are talking. Practice being selfless while others are being selfish. Practice holding a new standard for yourself, even if you are doing it alone.

See what shows up differently in your life when you show up differently.

As always, be wise and discerning as you navigate new terrain.

And most importantly, remember if you want the uncommon, you must become uncommon.

~Hayley Mermelstein