I was talking recently with a friend in order to better understand what was going on in our relationship. As we talked I realized that I would not find clarity by talking with this person because she wasn’t being honest with herself.

I meditated on the situation when I returned home and received the following message on self honesty.

I thought I’d share it here, for its a good reminder that sometimes we just need to go into ourselves to get clear, rather than look for clarity outside of ourselves. (Though, of course, at other times, talking things out with another person can be enormously helpful!).


If someone is not honest with themselves then they will not be able to be honest with you.

Do not take this personally.

Just be aware that they are not capable of being self honest at this time.

At times, you will not be able to find clarity by talking to another.

At times, you must go inward and find clarity by becoming clear within yourself.

Become clear within yourself and then carry out what you know to be true.

If you are not certain, then carry out, to the best of your ability, what you believe to be true.

Stand in your conviction but remain open.

As you live your life from this place of convinction and openness, you will gradually move into a deeper knowing about what is right for you.

Step into your clarity now, you know more than you realize.

Do not look to others to show you the way.

You are the way.

Allow your own clarity to guide you.

Express when you are guided to express, but remain true to your own perceptions and knowing.

Others my profess clarity but actually be confused.

Listen deeply to your own inner knowing and you will be guided in the path that is right for you.

Do not let the confusion of others throw you from your path.

Stay open.

Stay true.

But in the end listen deeply to your own inner wisdom.

As you do, the way forward will unfold.

~Hayley Mermelstein

Let peace begin with me.

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.  Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
– St. Francis of Assisi

My friend’s 11 year old daughter, who I adore, got bullied at school this past week and was injured in a fight that ensued. I don’t know all the details, but I know that it’s hard to watch the real world encroach on this young girl’s childhood. I know, of course, that there are lessons to be learned all around. And I hold this in light. But more than anything else, the main thought that rushes through my head is:

“Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.”

How can we have a peaceful world when we have such violence and anger in our hearts?

How can the world transform when we can’t get along with our neighbors?

What if the violence in our world is a reflection of the violence in our hearts?

What if in attending to our own gardens we really can affect change?

What if the most effective way to create peace is to start with ourselves, our own hearts and our own minds?

I don’t propose to have any of the answers. I’m just a person trying to figure it out too. It’s ironic in a way, wars rage all around, but it is an incident with a child I personally love with that inspires me to attend to my own garden in a way nothing else has.

Can I be a more loving person?
Can I find more compassion for my fellow man?
Can I love and forgive myself more?
Can I love and forgive others?
Can I create more peace within myself?
Can I create a ripple affect that positively influences the world?

Yes, of course, there is outward action to be taken: phone calls to be made, principles to be talked with, parent meetings, etc..etc.. And these are all very important.

But energetically, the place that we have the most control is in our own hearts and minds.

What is the ripple effect that our own anger and animosity, and lack of forgiveness creates out in the world? What if everything out there really is an outward manifestation of our own hearts and souls?

And so with this in mind, and in an effort to heal my own soul, I affirm:

I am filled with peace.
I am filled with peace.

I love and care for myself and
I love and care for others.

I practice compassion.
I practice compassion.

I am filled with peace.
I am filled with peace.

What is my vibrational contribution?

Do I contribute love?
Do I contribute compassion?
Do I contribute balance?
Do I contribute peace?
Do I contribute forgiveness?

What are the far reaching ramifications of this?

Can I stay compassionate in the face of anger?
Can I stay compassionate in the face of ignorance?

Can I stay balanced in the face of violence?
Can I contribute peace in the face of war?
Can I clean up my own act so that I can an agent for change?

If we wish to see a change in this world we must in the words of Gandhi: “be the change we wish to see.”

And so, let peace begin with me.

Let me offer forgiveness in the face of offense.
Let me offer compassion in the face of anger.
Let me offer patience in the face of ignorance.

May my energetic contribution be one of compassion, love, sincerity, and forgiveness.

I know that I will be tested.
I know that I will falter.
I know that this will be a learning process for me and that I will fall.

But let me make the commitment for the sake of all the children in the world who suffer, for the sake of all the young soldiers at war, for the sake of women who are exposed to violence every day, and for the sake of men who live in fear of other men or other women.

Let me make the commitment to be the change I wish to see.

May I offer love to those who can’t offer love to me.
May I offer compassion to those who are unkind.
May I offer a sincere heart to those who are lost.

May I be the change I wish to see.

This is my commitment.
This is my prayer.
This is my journey.
This is my path.

May peace exist on earth, and may it begin with me.

~Hayley Mermelstein

P.S. For those that are interested we will be having our Free monthly group healing teleclass this evening at 7 p.m. Its a good opportunity to heal our own souls and create a ripple of peace to help heal our planet. Join us if you can.

Just call in at: 413-259-8048.

Give yourself what you seek from others.

I-value-myself-II’ve been thinking a lot this week about the power of loving and forgiving ourselves. So often, we look to others for love, forgiveness, appreciation, and acceptance. What if instead of looking to others for these qualities we focused instead on giving them to ourselves? What if as we treated ourselves better, this impacted how others treated us? What if everyone out there is simply a mirror of how we treat ourselves?

For this week focus on being kinder to yourself. Focus on forgiving yourself, loving yourself, valuing yourself and accepting yourself.

To assist us all with this endeavor, I wrote a chakra balancing sequence that you can repeat to yourself. (I like to start my day with a Tong Ren Chakra Balancing sequence.)

If you have a Tong Ren doll and hammer you can tap on the chakras of the doll as you repeat the following affirmations. If you don’t have a doll and hammer, than simply repeat the following affirmations to yourself:

Tong Ren Chakra Balancing sequence:

Crown: I am special and we are all special.

Third Eye: I am a wise old soul and I step into my wisdom now.

Throat: I value myself.

Heart: I forgive myself. I love myself. I appreciate myself.

Solar Plexus: I accept myself completely.

Identity: I am whole and complete with in myself.

Base: I am spirit, therefore, I am safe.

Take a moment now and really take this in. Take a moment to really appreciate yourself. Take a moment to forgive yourself. Take a moment to remember that we are all learning and growing and that we all make mistakes. Take a moment to accept your strengths and weaknesses. Take a moment to value yourself.

Anytime an issue arises this week within yourself or In the world around you, take it as a cue and a reminder to love, value, appreciate, accept and forgive yourself. Practice seeing everything out there as an invitation for greater self love and self healing. Be aware of how this impacts your world.

So often, we look to others to love and appreciate us. And while external validation is always nice, its even better if we can learn to give ourselves the love and kindness that we seek.

What healing could happen in your body this week if you really forgave yourself for everything?

What transformation could occur is you really valued and appreciated yourself?

What would change if you finally accepted what seemed unacceptable?

What opportunities could open if we all learned to love ourselves more completely?

These are big challenges that we can all work on together.

For a short cut, simply pick one of the above affirmations and repeat it to yourself through out your day.

For example, if you are working on self love you could simply repeat: I love myself. I love myself. I love myself.

If you are looking for greater forgiveness you could repeat: I forgive myself. I forgive myself. I forgive myself.

If you desire greater self-acceptance, you could affirm: I accept myself completely. I accept myself completely. I accept myself completely.

Repeat what ever affirmation you choose frequently through out your day. For it is through repetition and consistency that we begin to change and elevate the way we think and feel about ourselves and others.

Have a good week everyone!

Also, if you’d like greater support, feel free to join us on our free Tong Ren Chakra Balancing group healing that is happening this Sunday, October 25th at 7 p.m. E.T. The number for the call is: 413-259-8048. We will be focusing on cultivating greater self love and acceptance. By joining together as a group we can heal and transform in powerful ways. I look forward on working on our collective healing together!

~Hayley Mermelstein

Learn to listen within.

There are those that insist that if you are to be a true writer you must write everyday.

And then there are those who insist that if you are to be a true writer you must wait until the spirit moves you.

And there are those that insist that you must not eat meat.

And there are those that insist that you must eat meat if you are to be healthy.

There are those that insist that you must say yes and
There are those that insist that you must say no.

There are studies that prove this.
And studies that say this is absolutely not so.

In the end we must learn to quiet all the external voices and opinions so that we may hear the small, still, quiet voice within that is always guiding us.

All the experts disagree and
What is gospel one minute is heresy the next.

Consider the opinions of others, but in the end do what resonates with your own inner being.

We are each unique and what we need varies.

For one person writing everyday perfects their art, and for another, writing when the spirit moves them is what allows their creativity to flourish.

Take full responsibility for your life, and do not be overly influenced by the opinions of others, even experts.

Come to know yourself and come to listen to your own inner spirit which has a wisdom that can guide you.

Listen deeply and the way will be revealed.

I am not your way home.

I took this week off from work to meditate and regroup a bit. After spending some time in quiet, this poem arose to the surface. Its been helpful for me to read and reread as a reminder to move more deeply into acceptance. Thought I’d share it with you in case it might be helpful.

Also, we will be having another free group meditation and group healing the last Sunday of October (October 25th) from 7-7:45 pm E.T. Be sure to mark your calendar if you are interested and keep an eye out for the reminders the weekend before.

I am not your way home.

And sometimes the people around us cannot be who we want them to be, because it is not who they are.

Sometimes the people around us cannot meet our expectations, for it is simply not where they are at yet, or the role they are meant to play in our lives.

Live and let live.

Let others be who and where they are.

Be deeply accepting now.

Do not look to others to be something that they are not.

Let go now and sit empty for a time.

Let go now and allow your life to unfold.

Let go now and allow life to bring the right people into your life.

Eventually, you will find your way home.

~Hayley Mermelstein