I am a natural caretaker. I am good at reading the energy of the people around me and perceiving what they need and desire. And while this is an appealing trait and can make me quite popular, it has its disadvantages too. One main disadvantage is that although I am skilled in reading the energy of other people, I am not as skilled with tuning into myself and knowing what it is that I need.
Recently, I was involved in an interaction with someone who said to me: Why don’t you take care of you, and I’ll take care of me. At the time, a wave of relief washed over me. You mean I can just focus on taking care of myself. I don’t have to take care of you too. To a care giver (and recovering over giver) this was music to my ears.
I found myself asking: What does it mean to really take care of me? What would it look like to be tuned into my own energy and flow? What would it be like to be deeply tuned in to the impulses of my own inner spirit?
I believe that at the deepest level, we are one. I also believe that at the deepest level there is consensus about what is right for the whole. When you are in a deep place in you and I am in a deep place in me, we will be in agreement about what is best for the whole.
If we are not in a deep place within ourselves, there will be perceived differences. For example: If someone is feeling insecure they may ask for help for something that they are really capable of doing themselves. The care taker in me may want to help them or even do it for them. But, if I am in a deeper place within myself, I may discern that the truly loving thing to do is empower them to do this task on their own. I may be more liked in the short term when I give this person my immediate help and attention. But this would weaken them and leave me drained. If instead, I listened deeply to what would best serve the oneness, I might hear: Let her do this on her own. She can do this. You take care of you and allow her space to find her strength and power.
This would free me to do what is best for me and free my friend to find her own inner power and strength. It is only when we listen at this deeper level that we will truly know what is best for the whole.
And so it is training for all of us to learn to listen deeply to the oneness and ask frequently: What would best serve the oneness in this situation?
Some of us have a tendency to consider our own needs and some of us have a tendency to consider the needs of others. True awareness and attunement comes when we learn to consider what would best serve the oneness, which would take into account what would best serve all involved.
And so for today, ask yourself frequently: What would best serve the oneness in this situation and listen deeply to the answer. Living in this way may at times make your more popular and at other times less popular. But still, regardless of the reaction of others, it is our responsibility to practice listening in this way.
On this note, I wrote a short affirmation to help all of us in this endeavor.
I listen deeply.
I listen deeply.
I listen deeply.
I listen deeply within and I ask:
What would best serve the oneness today?
What would best serve the oneness in this situation?
I listen deeply, for it is only through deep listening that I can truly discern what would best serve the whole of which I am a part.
When we are listening superficially we may become self-centered: only considering our own superficial needs or we may become self-denying: only considering the superficial needs of others.
When we listen deeply we can hear the whispers of our own spirit and the deepest whispers of the spirit of others. When we listen in this way we naturally serve the oneness of which we are all apart.
I listen deeply.
I listen deeply.
I listen deeply.
I serve the oneness of which I am a part.
I listen deeply.
I listen deeply.
I listen deeply.
I matter and you matter.
We all matter.
It is only through deep listening that the deepest whispers of the spirit can be heard.
So listen deeply and seek to serve the oneness in all that you say, think and do.
Be gentle with yourself for this is a practice and a skill that will get easier over time.
I listen deeply.
I listen deeply.
I listen deeply.
~Hayley Mermelstein