Tag Archives: Hayley Mermelstein

Welcoming Rejection

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Hello Everyone,

(Sometimes, well most times, I feel rather vulnerable sharing my writing. In fact, I often wonder whether it is even wise to do so. But I push the send button, because I know that we all share the same human experience and are working on many of the same issues in our own ways.

I often have people come up to me and say they feel I wrote a particular blog post just for them. This does comfort me and gives me some reassurance that there is value in sharing some of my writing rather than keeping it all to myself.

I also read once that if you don’t feel a little nauseous before sending out a blog post, that you haven’t been honest enough.

It is in this vein, that i share todays blog with you.)

Welcoming Rejection

I decided to talk to a friend recently about something that was bothering me in our relationship. The conversation took an unexpected turn and ended with her asking me not to contact her again. I had hoped that talking about our connection would bring us closer and instead it severed what was left of an already mangled situation.

Rejection is never pleasant, for any of us. We all have a desire to be liked, to be included, and to be understood.

And yet, I have been taught to welcome rejection and to understand that rejection is one of the ways that life reroutes us and shows us what path is not ours to traverse.

And so, I sit and I ask: What would it be like to welcome this? What would it be like to invite this to the table and surrender to it?

Thoughts swirl: Could I have done something differently? Could I have addressed the situation more gently? Maybe I shouldn’t have brought up the sensitive topic that i did?

I don’t know the answer to those questions. I do know that what is done is done, and that I communicated as honestly and sincerely as I knew how.

And so for now, I begin the process of letting go and I affirm:

I let go.
I let go.

I welcome this situation.
I welcome this situation.

I let go of my resistance to what is.
I let go of my wanting to go down a path that doesn’t appear to be meant for me.

I let go.
I let go.

I am learning to embrace rejection.
Rejection is one of the ways that life communicates with me.

Some paths open and some paths close.

I resist no longer.

I surrender.
I surrender.

I accept.
I accept.

I allow.
I allow.

I welcome what wants to come into my life and allow what wants to go, to go.

I welcome what is.
I let go of my resistance.

I allow those who want to go, to go.
I allow those who are meant to be in my life to come.

I surrender my will.

I surrender.
I surrender.

I let go.
I let go.

i let go.
I let go.

Letting go is a process. I remember a teacher of mine said once that it took her two years of active letting go, to really surrender something that she had wanted.

(And then I hear)

And so do not be discouraged if it takes some time to let go of that which is leaving your life. Be gentle and patient with yourself as your learn to surrender and release that which no longer serves. Accept all that is transpiring and know that when the time is right, new life will sprout form the ashes of what once was. Be patient, be kind. Review what you have allowed to transpire and than rise up stronger than before, more committed to healthy and mutually satisfying relationships. Do not settle for bread crumbs in your relationships. Do not settle for one way streets. Do not settle for lack of care and consideration. Dare to ask for more. Sit empty for a while and allow yourself to be refilled. When the time is right new life will emerge.

Shed the old now. You will find the reciprocity that you seek. Do not cling to that which is no longer meant for you. Instead think upon what it is that you do desire in relationship and allow those that are meant to be in your life to find you.

Chase no longer. Let what wants to go, go.

Welcome the new with open arms.

Remember that each time you have truly let go in the past, something more satisfying and right for your stage of development has found its way to you. Trust in that process. Surrender gladly into the unknown and wait with open arms for the future that beckons you.

Have a good weekend everyone.

Sincerely,

Hayley Mermelstein

Make room for the new

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“Do not move on to 2017 without letting go of something significant from 2016, an old idea, label, habit, fear, concern of ego. Let go to free up the white space for something new to enter.” Brendon Burchard.

It is said that nature abhors a vacuum, and that as we let go of worn out conditions, situations, attitudes and even clothing, that we create space for something new to be born.

What will you be letting go of this year as we wind down 2016 and what would you like to be born in its place as we enter this next cycle?

This is a question that we can all contemplate as we begin a new year of growth, service and enjoyment.

It is on this note, that I thought I’d share a poem that I wrote a while back, as I was working on letting go of a friendship in order to make room for something new.

Make room for the new.

And for a long time, it hurt when I bumped into a mutual friend of ours and she ignored me, or worse yet, glared.

And for a long time, I felt pain when I was not invited to that movie or that party.

What had you said about me that caused such hostility and rejection, I would wonder.

And for a long time, I wanted so badly to be included in that group that now shuns me.

And for a long time, I thought of you and felt pain.

And for a long time, I suffered.

I suffered until a friend said: Who cares?

Who cares that they reject you?
Who cares that you are not included?
Who cares that this friend left your life?

Let her go. Let them go.

Don’t hold such scarcity in your relationships or in your life.

There are true friend for you out there.
There are people who value and cherish you.
There are people who will see the true you and feel bonded and connected to you.

Trust this.

Let go and make room in your heart for the new.

Clear out the old.

Clear it out.
Let it go.

Make room for new friends.
Make room for new love.
Make room for new abundance.
Make room for all the glory that is meant for you.

Let what wants to go, go.
Chase no more.

Open now to the new.

Open to new life.
Open to new friendship.
Open to new love.

And, open to new opportunity.

New life is coming to you.

Make room.
Make room.

~Hayley Mermelstein

Confidence is your key.

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A while back, when I was taking meditation classes with my teacher Ellen Tadd, we had a class on finding our key. Ellen explained we each had a key to unlocking our full potential. The key might be self love, or confidence, or full expression, or patience, or emotional balance. The key was that one elevated state or emotion that was most essential for you to work on in this life time. The key is different for each one of us, depending on what we have come to earth to learn and to contribute.

For example: Perhaps for someone who struggles deeply with impatience, then patience might be their key. It is through mastering patience that all other aspects of their life begin to fall into place (i.e. relationships improve, appropriate opportunities begin to fall into place, and more alignment with timing and flow begin to transpire.)

Perhaps for someone who is very shy about speaking up, then full expression becomes their key to fulfillment and contribution. As they learn to express themselves, all aspects of their life begin to come into better alignment.

Today, while I was meditating, I heard the message that confidence is my key. It’s been years since i had that class with Ellen, but I instantly realized that this was the answer to the question that was asked so long ago.

And so today, you might want to ask yourself: What is your key? What is it that you need to cultivate in order to unlock your full potential? What quality is wanting to come forward in you at this time?

You may know your answer instantly, or perhaps, the answer may come to you at some time in the future. Keep asking, and stay open. When the time is right, your key will be revealed.

For now, I’ll leave you with the message that I received in my meditation. Because developing confidence is something that can benefit us all.

Confidence is your key.

Confidence is your key. When you believe that you can do this. You will do it.

You have not, as of yet, truly believed that you were capable of accomplishing that which you came here to accomplish.

As you change and evolve this, and as you begin to truly embody confidence,the opportunities set before you will begin to show up.

Embody confidence now. Feel confident. Fill every cell of your body with confidence.

Know that you can do what you’ve come here to do.

Give thanks for your growing confidence and belief in yourself.

Work daily to cultivate a greater confidence. It is your key to success.

Embody confidence though you have no proof.
Embody confidence and see what shows up.
Embody confidence and seek to emanate confidence.

See yourself as capable and your capacities will grow.
See yourself as able to learn that which you came here to learn.
See yourself as able to contribute that which you came here to contribute.

Go forward with confidence now.

Let this be your experiment.
Let this be your test.

What happens as you begin to hold the energy of confidence more and more?

What clarity arises in you?
What opportunities naturally come your way?
What new actions flow from you effortlessly?

Make today, this week, this month, this new year an experiement with confidence.

Learn to face your challenges with confidence.

Know that there is a force of life working with you to manifest what you need.
Know that you yourself are far more capable than you give yourself credit for.
Know that you are more powerful than you currently realize.
Know that you have more wisdom than your currently acknowledge.
Know that confidence is your key.

Cultivate confidence now and the way forward will be revealed.

Be confident in your own inherent wisdom, strength, clarity, and life purpose. And know, that powerful energies are all around you, just waiting for you to step into your confidence and power.

We wait patiently.

The ball is in your court.

Cultivate your confidence and doors will start to open.

I am open and I stand in my conviction.

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We had a really nice meditation class this past Thursday. The topic was standing in your convictions and being open, all at the same time. My understanding is that if you are only in your convictions you will become rigid and if you are only open you will be like a leaf in the wind. And so, ultimately we want to blend the two so that we are strong in our convictions, while simeoutaneously being as open as we can. From this blend of conviction and openness, a natural knowing as to how to navigate the complexity of our lives comes into sharper view.

For example, I meditated on a challenging relationship that I have with a colleague and from the balance of openness and conviction I was able to see that this colleague was having a hard time and was out of balance right now. From that awareness came a natural compassion along with an understanding that it was best to step back and stay out of harms way for a while.

I wrote a short meditation on the subject of openness and conviction and thought I’d share some of it here. If you would like to explore these and other topics (such as opening the heart, stepping into wisdom, building confidence, or coupling deep listening with full expression) feel free to stop by our Thursday night meditation class. The class is drop in, is $25.00/class and is open to the public and is held at 800 Main Street in Amherst (middle door in the front of the building.)

Its an engaging and interesting class that we deepen your meditation abilities and your abilities to listen deeply, as well as provide real tools that can help all us of to navigate the complexities of every day life. I look forward to seeing you at our group! If you have any questions, feel free to email or call me!

Openness and Conviction

I am open.
I am open.
I am open.

I am open to healing.
I am open to the light.
I am open to new opportunities.
I am open to a new point of view.
I am open to seeing things differently.
I am open to positive change.
I am open to new adventures.
I am open to new people.
I am open to new friendships.
I am open to love.

I am open.
I am open.
I am open.

Pause and see how being open feels.

Affirm:

I am open.
I am open.

I am open to divine guidance.
I am open to divine assistance.
I am open to newness.
I am open to new opportunities flooding my life.
I am open and my openness draws new opportunities to me.
I am as open as I can be.

I am open.
I am open.

Pause again and see how open you can be.

And now this time affirm:

I stand in my conviction.
I stand in my conviction.

I am filled with certainty.
I am strong.
I am powerful.
I am courageous.
I am confident.

I stand in my conviction.
I stand in my conviction.

I know how I feel.
I know what to do.
I know what to say.

I am certain.
I am confident.
I am powerful.
I am strong.
I am courageous.

I stand in my conviction.
I stand in my conviction.

Feel the strength and the power that comes from standing in your convictions.
Let yourself grow stronger as you stand firm and steady in the truth of who you are.

And now this time, lets combine the two.

I stand in my conviction and I am open.
I stand in my conviction and I am open.
I stand in my conviction and I am open.

See how open you can be as you go through your life.
See how strong and in your conviction you can be.

Put the two together .

Balance your strong conviction with openness and the awareness that everything changes and new insights and opportunities and course changes can come at any moment.
Be strong in who you are but remain open and flexible in the awareness that every moment is new and things are always changing.

Affirm frequently:

I am open and I stand in my conviction.
I am open and I stand in my conviction.
I am open and I stand in my conviction.

As you find this inner balance inside of yourself, a natural clarity and knowing about how to best navigate the complexity of every day life will arise.

Hayley Mermelstein
c.2016

Messenger of compassion

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We all come to bring a message. Whether its a message of peace or love or courage or strength or compassion or wisdom. Part of my message, I believe, is compassion. I am a major work in progress to be sure. But still, I aspire.

i was reflecting on this today and wrote this short passage. I thought I’d share it here because compassion is a message we can all work on bringing to this troubled planet that we inhabit together.

I am a messenger of compassion.

I am a being of great compassion.
I am a messenger of compassion.

I am generous in my compassion.
I give compassion freely.

You do not have to earn my compassion.
For I am a being of compassion and I have come to offer compassion to all.

Compassion is my message.
Compassion is why I am here.

I am here to offer compassion.

I am here to learn how to extend compassion to all.
I am here to be a beacon of compassion.

And so I am learning, and test after test I am learning.

Sometimes I pass the test and sometimes I fail, but all the while, I am learning to become the being of great compassion that I am.

And so I rise up and I start again.

And I endeavor to offer the compassion that I have come to offer.
I endeavor to be the being of compassion that I am.

I endeavor to offer my compassion to all, whether I am understood or not understood. Whether I am treated kindly or treated poorly. Whether I agree or disagree.

None of this matters now.

Its’ all simply a test to assist me in delivering more perfectly the message I’ve come to deliver.

I am a being of great compassion.
I am a being of great compassion.

I’ve come to extend compassion to all and I will deliver it as best as I can.

I am a messenger of compassion.
I am a messenger of compassion and I offer my compassion to the world today.

I am a messenger of compassion.
I am a messenger of compassion and I extend my compassion to all.

We all have a message to bring. Some are here to bring a message of compassion. Some are here to bring a message of love. Some are here to bring a message of strength and courage and power and confidence. Some are here to bring a message of wholeness. We each have a message to share and we each have something to learn. Ask today: What is my message? What have I come to share and to offer? We can offer our message wherever we are and with whatever we are doing.

If you are not sure what your message is pick a spiritual principle that you would like to cultivate, such as love or compassion or wholeness or balance or wisdom or confidence or strength or sensitivity and begin the process of cultivating it and offering it today. We can all have more than one message too.

Offer your message today and be gentle with yourself because you will be tested and you will pass some tests and fail others. All tests serve to strengthen your ability to offer your message regardless of what is going on around you.

Rise up in your strength and seek to offer that which you have come to offer. Rise up and bring the message that you were born to deliver. Rise up and offer what you have come to offer.

Be patient with yourself for you will do this imperfectly. Be patient with yourself because this is a process. Be patient with yourself for you will have to dig deep to learn consistency.

Be patient with yourself but be disciplined.

As you learn to offer your message more consistently your whole life will evolve and transform.

Ask today: what is my message and seek to offer that which you came to offer and you shall be satisfied.

~Hayley Mermelstein

He who angers you, conquers you.

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I was sitting in my living room, content with my days work when I received an unexpected phone call. The call was from someone I used to know, and without going into the details, suffice it to say, that the call annoyed me. It really annoyed me. I found myself ruminating with such questions as: Why did he call me? Why is he so insensitive? What is his problem?

To make matters worse, I took the call and accidently revealed more than I intended, which sparked a whole other level of self questioning and annoyance: Why did I pick up the phone? How did I let myself get sucked back in? Why did I take the bait?

And then somewhere in the midst of my turmoil I remembered the quote from Elizabeth Kenny: He who angers you, conquers you.

Ah, yes. I forgot. This is a test. This is a test in not giving your power away. This is a test in remembering the truth of who you are even if those around you don’t see it. This is a test in holding emotional balance. This is a test in not letting them get under your skin. This is a test in compassion. This is a test of kindness. This is a test in valuing yourself and self worth. This is a test in staying steady while dealing with the imbalances that exist within you and all around you. This is a test and only a test.

And so with new resolve, I started again. With new resolve, I remembered the great power that I am. And with new resolve I remembered the truth of who I am and how I want to be in the world.

And then I hear the words:

“These people who annoy us are essential if we are to actualize our best. How can we refine our nature without some resistance, without some challenge? How can we become a good sailor without some storms and inclement weather?

Be strong now in the rememberance of who you truly are. You are a powerful being of light. See the challenges set before you as calls to step into your power more and more. Do not be so discouraged when you stumble. For stumble you will. Many times. The important point is to pick your self up and resolve once again. And each time you will grow in your ability to hold your power. It may take many, many, many repetitions to be able to hold this consistently, and so for now be content with your inconsistency, but continue to aspire daily to connect with the true and powerful being of light that you are.

Again do not be discouraged by the stumbles and falls, they are an expected and necessary part of the path. See each fall as a call to greater power. See each stumble as a sign post of where your blockages lie.

This is a process and not a fast one either. And so be content with progress and be content with practice. This is your practice and this is your test. You will have many opportunities to retake the test and so be patient with yourself and be steadfast in your commitment to bringing forward the best that lies within you.”

Affirm now:

I am powerful.
I am powerful.

I am growing in ability to hold my power everyday.
I am embodying more of my power everyday.

I expand into the oneness now.
I merge with the all that is.

I expand into the great and infinite power that I am.

I am a powerful being of light.
I am a powerful being of expansion.
I am a powerful being of wisdom and clarity.

I am powerful.
I am powerful.
I am powerful.

I am powerful and I see the challenges set before me as my test.
I am powerful and I aspire to hold my power more and more.

This is my focus and this is my aspiration.

I remember the truth of who I am.

I am powerful.
I am wise.

I am infinite and
I am eternal.

I seek to embody my power more and more.
I seek to connect with my infinite nature more and more.

I am powerful.
I am powerful.

I am one with all of life.
I step into my infinite nature now.

I step into the great light that I am.
I step into my light and shine.
I step into my light and shine bright like the sun.

I am powerful.
I am powerful.
I am powerful.

Remember to see the challenges set before you as your test and aspire to step into your power. Be gentle with yourself when you fall, but resolve to begin your practice again, this time with greater wisdom and clarity. Eventually all shall be successful.

Have a good weekend everyone.

Sincerely,

Hayley Mermelstein

Rejection

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Below is a short message I received for a client during a private TRCB phone session about welcoming rejection and opening to a new chapter.

“Rejection is the universe telling you that you are going in the wrong direction. Let go now of your resistance to this, and free yourself up for your next new adventure. Open to the new. Open to new work opportunities. Open to new friendships. Open to new connections. Open to new adventures. Open to new opportunities for growth, learning, service and enjoyment. Open to new life. Let go of the old and open to the new. Know that there is always a next chapter.”

Have a good weekend everyone and be sure to join us Sunday night for our free tele class.

The divine plan unfolds perfectly.

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I was thinking about a relationship of mine that could use some healing and I began to work with the affirmation: The divine plan for this relationship unfolds perfectly.

I enjoy working with this affirmation because I feel that it assists in aligning my personal will with the will of spirit and helps facilitate healing for all concerned.

I wrote a short affirmation for myself and thought i’d share it here in case you too have a relationship in your life that could use some healing.

The divine plan unfolds perfectly.

The divine plan for this relationship unfolds perfectly.
The divine plan for this relationship unfolds perfectly.

I surrender this relationship into the hands of spirit.
May thy will be done.

The divine plan for this relationship unfolds perfectly.
The divine plan for this relationship unfolds perfectly.

May that which is for the highest good for all concerned unfold perfectly now.
May the divine plan unfold perfectly now.

The divine plan for this relationship unfolds perfectly.
The divine plan for this relationship unfolds perfectly.

I surrender my little will and merge with the divine will.
I align with a spiritual force of life that has everyone’s best interest at heart.

May thy will be done.
May thy will be done.

The divine plan for this relationship unfolds perfectly.
The divine plan for this relationship unfolds perfectly.

Take a moment and bring to mind a relationship that could use some healing. Affirm that the divine plan for this relationship unfolds perfectly now. Do not dictate what that divine plan should be. Instead surrender personal will and align with a force of life that has everyone’s best interest at heart. At the deepest level there is consensus. At the deepest level what is right for one is right for the whole. If you are connected with your spirit and the people that you are involved with are connected to their deepest selves then there will be in agreement about what is best for the whole.

And so connect now with the depth that lies within you and align with a force of life that has everyone’s best interest at heart. Do not swim against the current. Instead simply ask that what is best for all concerned unfolds perfectly now.

Surrender deeply now. Surrender to a force of life that knows what is best for all concerned. Do your best to align with this force. Let go of your own personal will and simply ask that the divine plan for this relationship unfolds perfectly. Affirm this frequently and see what transpires.

For some this will lead to greater expression and communication and for others it will lead to less expression and communication. For some that will lead to a deepening of a relationship and for others that will lead to a shedding of old skins so that new growth and life can happen.

Affirm that the divine plan for this relationship unfolds perfectly and then allow yourself to be guided in right action.
Work with this affirmation frequently and be aware how, over time, this influences the quality of your relationships.

~Hayley Mermelstein

Welcoming what is.

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I was thinking about an unwanted situation in my life, and the more I protested in my mind about what was happening, the worse I felt. I had to stop myself (before things got out of hand!) and began to just welcome what was transpiring.

This wasn’t easy for me (and still isn’t) but I did notice that as I welcomed what was happening my body began to relax and my internal tension began to subside.

I decided that for today I would welcome what is and not add insult to injury by railing against what is. This may sound like passivity, but I believe that when we accept what is, we are better able to think clearly and hear guidance to help us navigate the challenges in our lives.

Anyway, as usual, I wrote a short affirmation to assist in this process and thought I’d share it here in case you too have some undesired situation that you are currently navigating.

I welcome.

I welcome this pain.
I embrace this pain.
I accept this pain.

I resist no longer.

I welcome.
I embrace.
I accept.
I surrender.

I set the table and I invite you to dinner.

What is it that you have come to teach me?
What is it that you would have me learn?

Why did you come?
What is your message?

I’m listening now.
I open to learning.

I welcome you.
I embrace you.
I resist no longer.

I am open and receptive.

I surrender.
I surrender.
I surrender.

Stay as long as you like.
Stay until I have learned what you want me to learn.

I resist you no longer.
Teach me what you came to teach me.

I welcome you.
I welcome you.
I welcome you.

Take a moment now and welcome some unwanted situation that is currently in your life. Welcome that which you currently are resisting. How deeply can you welcome what is? How deeply can you embrace what is happening? How deeply can you surrender?

Ask, what have you come to teach me? What is your message? What is it that you would have me learn?

As you welcome, embrace, and surrender, you will access greater peace. As you access greater peace you will be guided in right action.

But for today, simply surrender and simply welcome what is. Simply embrace all that is transpiring. See how deeply you can welcome what is.

Tomarrow (or another day) you can work on solving the problem. But for today, simply surrender and welcome what is. End the war. End the resistance. Embrace what is transpiring and be aware of how this impacts your thoughts, feelings and emotions.

Be content to simply put one foot in front of the next for a little while as you learn that which is yours to learn. Surrender deeply and resist no more. Work with what shows up, and allow life to guide you in the path of right action.

Surrender. Surrender. Surrender. Listen. Listen. Listen.

Do that which is yours to do.

Listen deeply and you will be guided.

~Hayley Mermelstein

I am open to the will of spirit.

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I was thinking this morning about “being more open” and opening to the will of spirit. I decided to write a short affirmation to assist me in this process. I thought I’d share it here in the event that it might be helpful for you as well.

Have a good weekend!

I am open to the will of spirit.

I am open.
I am open.

I am open to the will of spirit.
I am open to the will of spirit.

May thy will be my will.
May thy will be my will.

I am open.
I am open.

I am open and my openness draws new opportunities to me.
I am open and my openness draws new experiences to me.

I am open and my openness draws divine favor and divine blessings and divine opportunities into my life.

I am open.
I am open.
I am open.

Take a moment now and focus on opening. Open to receive. Open to greater love. Open to greater world service. Open to greater financial abundance. And above all else open to aligning your will with the will of spirit.

Let this be your experiment today, to open in greater ways: to open to divine blessings, to divine favor, and to divine opportunities.

Go through your day in a state of openness (coupled of course with wisdom and wise decision making). Be aware of how your openness to life impacts the quality of your day.

~Hayley Mermelstein