I am open and I stand in my conviction.

We had a really nice meditation class this past Thursday. The topic was standing in your convictions and being open, all at the same time. My understanding is that if you are only in your convictions you will become rigid and if you are only open you will be like a leaf in the wind. And so, ultimately we want to blend the two so that we are strong in our convictions, while simeoutaneously being as open as we can. From this blend of conviction and openness, a natural knowing as to how to navigate the complexity of our lives comes into sharper view.

For example, I meditated on a challenging relationship that I have with a colleague and from the balance of openness and conviction I was able to see that this colleague was having a hard time and was out of balance right now. From that awareness came a natural compassion along with an understanding that it was best to step back and stay out of harms way for a while.

I wrote a short meditation on the subject of openness and conviction and thought I’d share some of it here. If you would like to explore these and other topics (such as opening the heart, stepping into wisdom, building confidence, or coupling deep listening with full expression) feel free to stop by our Thursday night meditation class. The class is drop in, is $25.00/class and is open to the public and is held at 800 Main Street in Amherst (middle door in the front of the building.)

Its an engaging and interesting class that we deepen your meditation abilities and your abilities to listen deeply, as well as provide real tools that can help all us of to navigate the complexities of every day life. I look forward to seeing you at our group! If you have any questions, feel free to email or call me!

Openness and Conviction

I am open.
I am open.
I am open.

I am open to healing.
I am open to the light.
I am open to new opportunities.
I am open to a new point of view.
I am open to seeing things differently.
I am open to positive change.
I am open to new adventures.
I am open to new people.
I am open to new friendships.
I am open to love.

I am open.
I am open.
I am open.

Pause and see how being open feels.

Affirm:

I am open.
I am open.

I am open to divine guidance.
I am open to divine assistance.
I am open to newness.
I am open to new opportunities flooding my life.
I am open and my openness draws new opportunities to me.
I am as open as I can be.

I am open.
I am open.

Pause again and see how open you can be.

And now this time affirm:

I stand in my conviction.
I stand in my conviction.

I am filled with certainty.
I am strong.
I am powerful.
I am courageous.
I am confident.

I stand in my conviction.
I stand in my conviction.

I know how I feel.
I know what to do.
I know what to say.

I am certain.
I am confident.
I am powerful.
I am strong.
I am courageous.

I stand in my conviction.
I stand in my conviction.

Feel the strength and the power that comes from standing in your convictions.
Let yourself grow stronger as you stand firm and steady in the truth of who you are.

And now this time, lets combine the two.

I stand in my conviction and I am open.
I stand in my conviction and I am open.
I stand in my conviction and I am open.

See how open you can be as you go through your life.
See how strong and in your conviction you can be.

Put the two together .

Balance your strong conviction with openness and the awareness that everything changes and new insights and opportunities and course changes can come at any moment.
Be strong in who you are but remain open and flexible in the awareness that every moment is new and things are always changing.

Affirm frequently:

I am open and I stand in my conviction.
I am open and I stand in my conviction.
I am open and I stand in my conviction.

As you find this inner balance inside of yourself, a natural clarity and knowing about how to best navigate the complexity of every day life will arise.

Hayley Mermelstein
c.2016

Accepting the apology that you never received.

“Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.”~ Robert Brault

I had a dream a few nights back about a friend whom I had a falling out with several years ago. In the dream, I went to her with the hopes of receiving an apology for all that had transpired between us (I had already apologized for my part of our falling out.). I was ready to let go and forgive and move on. The only thing I needed was her to apologize and own her part, and then I could finally be free. In the dream she acted as if nothing had ever happened between us and seemed oblivious to my pain. In the dream I started to cry and actually started begging her to see my suffering and apologize. She looked past me and started talking about something inconsequential.

I awoke knowing that I would never get the apology that I desired.

What is a poor soul to do?

As I have reflected on this dream and this relationship, I realized that I had given my power away. I wanted resolve, I wanted healing, I wanted to forgive and move on. I didn’t want to damage my body with anger or hurt or feelings of betrayal anymore. But in order to be free I had constructed a scenario where I needed an apology from someone who was never particularly good at being sensitive to my feelings.

I realized that “needing” an apology to feel complete or resolved was, in a sense, putting my freedom into someone else’s hands. “If they apologize, then I can fully forgive and move on. If they apologize, I can find the resolve I am looking for. If they acknowledge my pain, I can be free.”

In my moment of awakening (literally) I realized that I could take my power back. I realized that my friend’s process was really her business. My process was my business. And so I decided to take my power back and give myself full permission to forgive, let go, and find the resolve that I desired. I decided to accept the apology that I never received.

And then I wrote the following affirmation to assist me in this process:

I forgive you.

I forgive you.
I forgive you.

You are good and you are learning and
You are flawed, just like everyone is flawed.

You are human and you are learning, and you are spirit and you are filled with greatness.

You have strengths and you have weaknesses.

I acknowledge your strengths and your gifts, and I forgive your flaws.

You are learning and growing just like everyone else.

I forgive you.
I forgive you.

In forgiving you, I set myself free.
In forgiving you, I free myself from my pain.
In forgiving you, my body is healed and I am made whole.

I forgive you, and I am free and you are free.

I forgive you and I thank you for teaching me what you came to teach me.
I forgive you and I thank you for teaching me not to be so naïve in relationship.

I forgive you and I thank you for teaching me to not make my healing contingent on something outside of myself.

I forgive you and I thank you for teaching me to step into my full power and stop playing the victim.

I forgive you and I thank you for the friendship shared and the lessons learned.

I forgive you and I set you free.
I forgive you and I set myself free.

May you find peace and
May I find peace.

The earth is a school.
We have come for growth and we have come for learning and we have come for enjoyment and for service.

May I grow and learn and may you grow and learn.
May healing come to both of us.

A plate of forgiveness, understanding and compassion all around.

I accept your apology.
I am whole and complete now.

And, I forgive myself too.

I forgive myself for my mistakes.
I forgive myself for my flaws.
I forgive myself for the times I was insensitive or out of alignment or out of balance.

I forgive you and I forgive myself.

Our union was a karmic one filled with joy, and learning, and love, and pain.

I forgive.
I forgive.

I forgive and I understand.
I forgive and I understand.
I forgive and I understand.

~Hayley Mermelstein

Have a good weekend everyone and if you feel inspired, join us for our Free Tong Ren Chakra Balancing Teleclass Sunday August 7th. The call in number is: 413-259-8048. I look forward to joining you on the call!

All the experts disagree.

There are those that insist that if you are to be a true writer you must write everyday.

And then there are those who insist that if you are to be a true writer you must wait until the spirit moves you.

And there are those that insist that you must not eat meat.
And there are those that insist that you must eat meat if you are to be healthy.

There are those that insist that you must say yes and
There are those that insist that you must say no.

There are studies that prove this.
And studies that say this is absolutely not so.

In the end we must learn to quiet all the external voices and opinions so that we may hear the small, still, quiet voice within that is always guiding us.

All the experts disagree.
What is gospel one minute is heresy the next.

Take in the opinions of others, but in the end do what resonates with your own inner being.

Take full responsibility for your life and do not be overly influenced by the opinions of others, even experts.

Come to know yourself and come to listen to your own inner spirit which has a wisdom that can guide you.

Listen deeply and the way will be revealed.

~Hayley Mermelstein

I was scared and now I’m brave.

I was at a family reunion and playing with my three and a half year old niece in the outdoor pool. For my niece, playing in the pool means standing on the first step and staying there. She wants to go in the water and play, but she is afraid of the water and so it is on the first step that we stay.

On this particular day, she suddenly, while holding my hands of course, jumped to the second stair and said look Hayley I’m 2 years old. (Her disappearing legs made her feel shorter, thus younger.) She eyed the third step and before long she jumped onto the third step crying out: Look Hayley I’m 1 years old. (The water now up to her belly). Then she eyed the fourth and final step and quickly jumped back to the first step. She stayed there for a while but then the game started again. This time she went all the way down to the fourth step which fully immersed her body in the water, leaving just her head and neck sticking out. She yelled out: Look Hayley: I’m zero years old. Then she looked at me and cried out with great enthusiasm: Hayley, I used to be scared and now I’m brave. I used to be so scared and now I’m brave.

Her words echoed in my head and it was as if she was mirroring a process I was still in the middle of. It almost seemed like a voice from beyond was speaking through my niece and saying: Hayley, face your fears. Find your bravery.

For you see, I, like all of us, have been dealing with my own fears.

As I sat at the waters edge, holding the hands of my three year old niece, I begin to ponder: How do we move from fear to bravery?

And while I’m no expert at this (and am definitely a work in progress), I’ve been noticing lately that when I remember the power that lies within me, the power of my spirit, this helps me feel strong enough to begin to face my fears.

As my various fears and concerns arise I begin to remind myself that:

I am filled with the power of spirit.

I am powerful.

I am strong.

I am well able.

I am powerful and powerful beings of light are all around me and I never work alone.

I may repeat one or two of the above affirmations all day long, while driving my car, in the pause between events, and/or while doing my day to day activities.

As the various fears arise or as doubts enter my brain, I may repeat the following affirmation as well:

I am powerful.
I am powerful.

There is a place of great power that lies with in me.

I am one with unlimited power.
I am one with unlimited wisdom.
I am one with unlimited abundance.

I expand into my unlimited nature.

I am powerful.
I am powerful.
I am powerful.

As I work with these affirmations I notice, over time, that the fears start subsiding and a feeling of strength begins to arise in my body. My perceptions often change and I begin to perceive the obstacles before me differently.

Is this an instantaneous process? No.

While sometimes this process may work very quickly, it is more often a process that takes many, many repititions (at least for me!)

Have I mastered this art? No, not yet.

But this process has been really helpful for me in working with my fears and doubts as they arise.

I don’t know if this process will be helpful for you, but thought I’d share it here in case you too, have fears that arise and you are looking for constructive ways to work them.

While the fears may not vanish all at once, I have found that this process helps them to subside and helps me to find my bravery so that I can jump to the next step in the deep waters ahead.

~Hayley Mermelstein
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Messenger of compassion

We all come to bring a message. Whether its a message of peace or love or courage or strength or compassion or wisdom. Part of my message, I believe, is compassion. I am a major work in progress to be sure. But still, I aspire.

i was reflecting on this today and wrote this short passage. I thought I’d share it here because compassion is a message we can all work on bringing to this troubled planet that we inhabit together.

I am a messenger of compassion.

I am a being of great compassion.
I am a messenger of compassion.

I am generous in my compassion.
I give compassion freely.

You do not have to earn my compassion.
For I am a being of compassion and I have come to offer compassion to all.

Compassion is my message.
Compassion is why I am here.

I am here to offer compassion.

I am here to learn how to extend compassion to all.
I am here to be a beacon of compassion.

And so I am learning, and test after test I am learning.

Sometimes I pass the test and sometimes I fail, but all the while, I am learning to become the being of great compassion that I am.

And so I rise up and I start again.

And I endeavor to offer the compassion that I have come to offer.
I endeavor to be the being of compassion that I am.

I endeavor to offer my compassion to all, whether I am understood or not understood. Whether I am treated kindly or treated poorly. Whether I agree or disagree.

None of this matters now.

Its’ all simply a test to assist me in delivering more perfectly the message I’ve come to deliver.

I am a being of great compassion.
I am a being of great compassion.

I’ve come to extend compassion to all and I will deliver it as best as I can.

I am a messenger of compassion.
I am a messenger of compassion and I offer my compassion to the world today.

I am a messenger of compassion.
I am a messenger of compassion and I extend my compassion to all.

We all have a message to bring. Some are here to bring a message of compassion. Some are here to bring a message of love. Some are here to bring a message of strength and courage and power and confidence. Some are here to bring a message of wholeness. We each have a message to share and we each have something to learn. Ask today: What is my message? What have I come to share and to offer? We can offer our message wherever we are and with whatever we are doing.

If you are not sure what your message is pick a spiritual principle that you would like to cultivate, such as love or compassion or wholeness or balance or wisdom or confidence or strength or sensitivity and begin the process of cultivating it and offering it today. We can all have more than one message too.

Offer your message today and be gentle with yourself because you will be tested and you will pass some tests and fail others. All tests serve to strengthen your ability to offer your message regardless of what is going on around you.

Rise up in your strength and seek to offer that which you have come to offer. Rise up and bring the message that you were born to deliver. Rise up and offer what you have come to offer.

Be patient with yourself for you will do this imperfectly. Be patient with yourself because this is a process. Be patient with yourself for you will have to dig deep to learn consistency.

Be patient with yourself but be disciplined.

As you learn to offer your message more consistently your whole life will evolve and transform.

Ask today: what is my message and seek to offer that which you came to offer and you shall be satisfied.

~Hayley Mermelstein

Hurt or compassion, which will it be?

For a variety of reasons, I’ve been thinking a lot about some of my past relationships, especially the ones that ended in hurt or pain. I’ve been contemplating the many ways my unresolved feelings may be impacting my physical body and my life in general. As I contemplate these past relationships I realize that I have a choice. I can be hurt and angry or I can feel compassion. It is as simple as that. If I chose to be hurt and angry then I damage my body and I get the great privilege of playing the victim. If, however, I choose to feel compassion for all concerned, then I elevate my own state and get to feel the empowerment that comes from stepping boldly into compassion.

I’ve always believed that being judgmental takes no skill. It is something anyone can do and that offering compassion instead of judgment is where the finesse lies.

I recently realized that feeling hurt and playing the victim also takes no real skill. It is easy to respond with hurt to the many injustices that we endure even in a given day. But still, no matter how justified we may be, if we are to step into our full potential, if we are to become all that we are meant to be, we must find the place within ourselves that can turn the voice of poor me into the voice of compassion for ourselves, others and for the human condition.

Everyone is flawed and everyone is learning and growing. These flaws cause us and others to act in ways that can be quite out of balance, and yet the choice still remains, will we respond with hurt or will we respond with compassion?

Compassion can be tricky because sometimes we are asked to respond to an injustice that we don’t understand. This lack of understanding can make it challenging to find our compassion. And yet the truth remains that our true nature and our highest expression is compassion.

And as I write, I hear the following message:

Seek to feel the compassion first and then understanding will follow. If you try to understand first you may get lost. Seek instead to express your true nature in all circumstances. Know that everyone is learning and growing and everyone has deep wounds that are not always obvious on the surface. Regardless if you understand or not, regardless of how impacted you were by the imbalances, seek to return to your true nature. Do this for yourself.

No injustice is worth losing touch with your true nature. No injustice is worth losing the best part of who you are. No injustice is worth sacrificing your health for.

Dig deep and remember the truth of who you are. You are an infinite being of light. You are an infinite being of compassion. You are an infinite being of love and light and joy and beauty.

Affirm now:

I am an infinite being of light.
I am an infinite being of love.
I am an infinite being of compassion.
I am an infinite being of joy.
I am an infinite being of power.

Step into your true power now. Stop playing the role of the victim. This is keeping you stuck in ways that you cannot even image. Let go of playing the victim and reclaim your health and vitality. Let go of playing the role of the victim and step into the infinite compassionate, loving being that you are. You may still walk away from situations and people that no longer meant to be part of your path, but you can do so from a place of power and compassion rather than hurt and wounding.

Step into your true nature now.

Step into your power.
Step into your love.
Step into your compassion.

Be in your power. Bring forward the best that lies within. Do this for yourself. Do this for your health. Do this for your world.

An eye for an eye and the whole world becomes blind.
Let this pattern stop with you.

Set a new tone.
Set a new standard.

Offer love in the face of betrayal.
Offer compassion in the face of lies.
Offer the best that lies within you.

Let no one take this from you.
Offer your best and live your life in peace.

Life keeps an accurate scorecard.
You do not have to even the score.

Simply aspire to be the best that you can be and allow life to unfold.

Affirm frequently:

I am an infinite being of compassion.
I offer my compassion to the world.
I offer the best that lies within me.
I play the victim no more.
I step into my power and I offer my love and my compassion even to those who cannot offer the same to me.

This is my achievement and my accomplishment.

I offer my simple plate of compassion to all.
I offer my simple plate of compassion to all.

And this is my gift and my legacy.

And so it is.
And so it is.

He who angers you, conquers you.

I was sitting in my living room, content with my days work when I received an unexpected phone call. The call was from someone I used to know, and without going into the details, suffice it to say, that the call annoyed me. It really annoyed me. I found myself ruminating with such questions as: Why did he call me? Why is he so insensitive? What is his problem?

To make matters worse, I took the call and accidently revealed more than I intended, which sparked a whole other level of self questioning and annoyance: Why did I pick up the phone? How did I let myself get sucked back in? Why did I take the bait?

And then somewhere in the midst of my turmoil I remembered the quote from Elizabeth Kenny: He who angers you, conquers you.

Ah, yes. I forgot. This is a test. This is a test in not giving your power away. This is a test in remembering the truth of who you are even if those around you don’t see it. This is a test in holding emotional balance. This is a test in not letting them get under your skin. This is a test in compassion. This is a test of kindness. This is a test in valuing yourself and self worth. This is a test in staying steady while dealing with the imbalances that exist within you and all around you. This is a test and only a test.

And so with new resolve, I started again. With new resolve, I remembered the great power that I am. And with new resolve I remembered the truth of who I am and how I want to be in the world.

And then I hear the words:

“These people who annoy us are essential if we are to actualize our best. How can we refine our nature without some resistance, without some challenge? How can we become a good sailor without some storms and inclement weather?

Be strong now in the rememberance of who you truly are. You are a powerful being of light. See the challenges set before you as calls to step into your power more and more. Do not be so discouraged when you stumble. For stumble you will. Many times. The important point is to pick your self up and resolve once again. And each time you will grow in your ability to hold your power. It may take many, many, many repetitions to be able to hold this consistently, and so for now be content with your inconsistency, but continue to aspire daily to connect with the true and powerful being of light that you are.

Again do not be discouraged by the stumbles and falls, they are an expected and necessary part of the path. See each fall as a call to greater power. See each stumble as a sign post of where your blockages lie.

This is a process and not a fast one either. And so be content with progress and be content with practice. This is your practice and this is your test. You will have many opportunities to retake the test and so be patient with yourself and be steadfast in your commitment to bringing forward the best that lies within you.”

Affirm now:

I am powerful.
I am powerful.

I am growing in ability to hold my power everyday.
I am embodying more of my power everyday.

I expand into the oneness now.
I merge with the all that is.

I expand into the great and infinite power that I am.

I am a powerful being of light.
I am a powerful being of expansion.
I am a powerful being of wisdom and clarity.

I am powerful.
I am powerful.
I am powerful.

I am powerful and I see the challenges set before me as my test.
I am powerful and I aspire to hold my power more and more.

This is my focus and this is my aspiration.

I remember the truth of who I am.

I am powerful.
I am wise.

I am infinite and
I am eternal.

I seek to embody my power more and more.
I seek to connect with my infinite nature more and more.

I am powerful.
I am powerful.

I am one with all of life.
I step into my infinite nature now.

I step into the great light that I am.
I step into my light and shine.
I step into my light and shine bright like the sun.

I am powerful.
I am powerful.
I am powerful.

Remember to see the challenges set before you as your test and aspire to step into your power. Be gentle with yourself when you fall, but resolve to begin your practice again, this time with greater wisdom and clarity. Eventually all shall be successful.

Have a good weekend everyone.

Sincerely,

Hayley Mermelstein

Rejection

Below is a short message I received for a client during a private TRCB phone session about welcoming rejection and opening to a new chapter.

“Rejection is the universe telling you that you are going in the wrong direction. Let go now of your resistance to this, and free yourself up for your next new adventure. Open to the new. Open to new work opportunities. Open to new friendships. Open to new connections. Open to new adventures. Open to new opportunities for growth, learning, service and enjoyment. Open to new life. Let go of the old and open to the new. Know that there is always a next chapter.”

Have a good weekend everyone and be sure to join us Sunday night for our free tele class.

The divine plan unfolds perfectly.

I was thinking about a relationship of mine that could use some healing and I began to work with the affirmation: The divine plan for this relationship unfolds perfectly.

I enjoy working with this affirmation because I feel that it assists in aligning my personal will with the will of spirit and helps facilitate healing for all concerned.

I wrote a short affirmation for myself and thought i’d share it here in case you too have a relationship in your life that could use some healing.

The divine plan unfolds perfectly.

The divine plan for this relationship unfolds perfectly.
The divine plan for this relationship unfolds perfectly.

I surrender this relationship into the hands of spirit.
May thy will be done.

The divine plan for this relationship unfolds perfectly.
The divine plan for this relationship unfolds perfectly.

May that which is for the highest good for all concerned unfold perfectly now.
May the divine plan unfold perfectly now.

The divine plan for this relationship unfolds perfectly.
The divine plan for this relationship unfolds perfectly.

I surrender my little will and merge with the divine will.
I align with a spiritual force of life that has everyone’s best interest at heart.

May thy will be done.
May thy will be done.

The divine plan for this relationship unfolds perfectly.
The divine plan for this relationship unfolds perfectly.

Take a moment and bring to mind a relationship that could use some healing. Affirm that the divine plan for this relationship unfolds perfectly now. Do not dictate what that divine plan should be. Instead surrender personal will and align with a force of life that has everyone’s best interest at heart. At the deepest level there is consensus. At the deepest level what is right for one is right for the whole. If you are connected with your spirit and the people that you are involved with are connected to their deepest selves then there will be in agreement about what is best for the whole.

And so connect now with the depth that lies within you and align with a force of life that has everyone’s best interest at heart. Do not swim against the current. Instead simply ask that what is best for all concerned unfolds perfectly now.

Surrender deeply now. Surrender to a force of life that knows what is best for all concerned. Do your best to align with this force. Let go of your own personal will and simply ask that the divine plan for this relationship unfolds perfectly. Affirm this frequently and see what transpires.

For some this will lead to greater expression and communication and for others it will lead to less expression and communication. For some that will lead to a deepening of a relationship and for others that will lead to a shedding of old skins so that new growth and life can happen.

Affirm that the divine plan for this relationship unfolds perfectly and then allow yourself to be guided in right action.
Work with this affirmation frequently and be aware how, over time, this influences the quality of your relationships.

~Hayley Mermelstein

Welcoming what is.

I was thinking about an unwanted situation in my life, and the more I protested in my mind about what was happening, the worse I felt. I had to stop myself (before things got out of hand!) and began to just welcome what was transpiring.

This wasn’t easy for me (and still isn’t) but I did notice that as I welcomed what was happening my body began to relax and my internal tension began to subside.

I decided that for today I would welcome what is and not add insult to injury by railing against what is. This may sound like passivity, but I believe that when we accept what is, we are better able to think clearly and hear guidance to help us navigate the challenges in our lives.

Anyway, as usual, I wrote a short affirmation to assist in this process and thought I’d share it here in case you too have some undesired situation that you are currently navigating.

I welcome.

I welcome this pain.
I embrace this pain.
I accept this pain.

I resist no longer.

I welcome.
I embrace.
I accept.
I surrender.

I set the table and I invite you to dinner.

What is it that you have come to teach me?
What is it that you would have me learn?

Why did you come?
What is your message?

I’m listening now.
I open to learning.

I welcome you.
I embrace you.
I resist no longer.

I am open and receptive.

I surrender.
I surrender.
I surrender.

Stay as long as you like.
Stay until I have learned what you want me to learn.

I resist you no longer.
Teach me what you came to teach me.

I welcome you.
I welcome you.
I welcome you.

Take a moment now and welcome some unwanted situation that is currently in your life. Welcome that which you currently are resisting. How deeply can you welcome what is? How deeply can you embrace what is happening? How deeply can you surrender?

Ask, what have you come to teach me? What is your message? What is it that you would have me learn?

As you welcome, embrace, and surrender, you will access greater peace. As you access greater peace you will be guided in right action.

But for today, simply surrender and simply welcome what is. Simply embrace all that is transpiring. See how deeply you can welcome what is.

Tomarrow (or another day) you can work on solving the problem. But for today, simply surrender and welcome what is. End the war. End the resistance. Embrace what is transpiring and be aware of how this impacts your thoughts, feelings and emotions.

Be content to simply put one foot in front of the next for a little while as you learn that which is yours to learn. Surrender deeply and resist no more. Work with what shows up, and allow life to guide you in the path of right action.

Surrender. Surrender. Surrender. Listen. Listen. Listen.

Do that which is yours to do.

Listen deeply and you will be guided.

~Hayley Mermelstein