Letting go of regret


I awoke this morning and as I lounged in bed slowly getting ready for the day to come a wave of regret washed over me. It is a regret from two years ago which likes to visit me from time to time. It especially likes to arise while I’m just waking up and not fully prepared to deal with it yet.  I’ll spare you the details but it was an honest mistake that I made that affected others. It was an unintentional mistake, but a mistake none-the-less. As I lay in bed, my morning reverie interrupted by the memory of this mistake I asked myself: How am I going to get over this? I can’t keep doing this to myself. I instantly knew the answer, though it was an answer that I didn’t wanted to hear. The answer was to accept that I’m learning and growing, that I’m human and that I make mistakes too. The answer made me cringe inside as if this was the one thing that I could not do. Anything but that. I went back in my mind trying to reverse the moment, trying to do it differently, but as much as I tried I could not turn back time.

As I laid in bed I began to hear a message and so I got out my pen and paper hoping that the message that came through would be helpful. It was helpful. It’s a message about embracing the learning process and accepting that part of why we are here on the earth is to learn and grow. We have come to learn and grow. We all make mistakes. It’s a part of life. And while its easy to say these words, really learning to embrace the message is a whole other story.

One thing I’ve learned being in private practice all these years is that we all share the same human condition.  We all feel joy, love, sadness, regret.  We all have areas of ease and places that we struggle.  We all make mistakes and we are all learning to embrace this process.

I thought that I’d share the message that I received about embracing the learning process with all of you.  The message was helpful for me and one that I’ll probably need to keep reading for a while. I hope that it is helpful for you as well.  Feel free to let me know how this post impacts you in the comments section below.

Morning Message:

“Let go of your regret now. You are here to learn. You are here to grow. You punish yourself for things you feel you should have done, should have known but you didn’t know. If you had truly understood you would have done differently. And so forgive yourself now. Know that you were doing the best you could at the time. You will grow and evolve many times through the course of a lifetime and your response to various situations will change as you grow and evolve. If you look back with pain at the person you once were you are slowing your evolution. Look back with compassion. Look back with forgiveness. Look back with understanding to the person you once were. You did the best that you knew how at the time. If you’d have truly known better you would have done better.

And so forgive yourself. And so be compassionate with your self. And so understand the process of growth and learning in which you are involved. All are learning. All are growing. And the sooner you embrace this process the sooner you will step into the person that you are meant to be.

When you accept this process you will step more fully into your compassion. When you accept this process you will step more fully into your understanding, your power, your strength. As you treat yourself you will treat others.

When you forgive yourself you will forgive others. When you understand yourself you will understand others. When you are able to find compassion for yourself you will be able to find compassion for others. And so forgive, forgive, forgive. Allow yourself to be in a learning process. You have come to learn. You have come to grow. The earth is a school. This can not be emphasized enough. You have come for the learning. Do not be so surprised by the mistakes as if you thought you’d be exempt from making them. No one is exempt. All have come for learning and for growth and service and enjoyment.

And so do not feel regret. Instead commit yourself to the learning process. Commit to continued learning and continued growth. Know that you are evolving and growing everyday. How you handled something last week is not how you would necessarily handle it today. Do not regret this process instead embrace it with maturity and grace.

Deepen your understanding about why you are here, what you have come to learn and what you have come to teach.

Let go of regret and step into understanding. Let go of regret and step into compassion. Let go of regret and step into your full power. When you embrace the learning process rather than run from it you become powerful. When you can look at your faults honestly you become powerful. When you can embrace the learning process you expediate your learning process and you become a more powerful light.

And so embrace, embrace, embrace. Allow. Allow. Allow. Give yourself space to learn and grow and give others room to learn and grow. In this way you can step into the person that you were meant to be. Do not look back with regret. Know that all are learning and all are growing. Know that all is in perfection. Look back with kindness and compassion and know that all are learning and this is as it should be. Look back with the maturity of understanding not the reactiveness of a child. Look back with the eyes of compassion and with the eyes of understanding. All are learning and all are growing. The path is not easy but it is paved with learning for all. Embrace this process and you shall be successful.

~Hayley Mermelstien