I was walking on the beach about a year before my father died. I was walking and thinking about an interaction I had with him a few days prior. I had asked him if he wanted to go for a walk with me and he said no.

I sort of pushed it a bit:
Come on Dad. Lets go for a walk. I insisted.

Again he said no. Not now. I’m too tired.

(My Dad was an avid walker and he and I had been going on long walks for as long as I could remember)

As I was walking on the beach, reflecting on this interaction, my then, very much alive father, appeared before me in spirit form. (now mind you…this had never happened to me before). Anyway, my father appeared before me in spirit form and began to talk to me.

He said:

Hayley, I have lived a full life and I have completed what I came here to do. I have had the relationships that I was meant to have.

At that point I was shown his long line of relationships: His parents, his brother, my mother, his three kids, his four grandchildren, his friends, etc…etc…

I have had the relationships that I was meant to have. I have completed what I came here to complete. You can help me by letting go and not pulling at me. Let me be. Also, do not interfere with any decisions that your mother will make in the upcoming period of time. Do not argue about flu shots, or medications, or vaccines, or any medical procedures. Sit back. I am preparing to move onto my next chapter. You can help me by letting go and not interfering with the process. Help me to let go by letting go of your attachments to me.

And with that my father’s spirit faded out of sight. And I was left on the beach with the new awareness that my father felt complete here and that I could help him let go by not pulling at him to be the person he once was.

You see my father, who was forever youthful, had aged in the last couple of years and had slowed down quite a bit. I understood that he was winding down his journey but still I had not fully grasped what was happening.

His message to me on that beach was helpful in guiding me about how to be with him. I stopped pushing or pulling and just learned to be with him. I practiced letting go of my attachment to his life here on earth and began to think about having an ongoing relationship even after he left his earthly body.

I am sure I didn’t do this perfectly. Hey, I am human and if I had it my way, no one we loved would pass or go away. But my higher self, of course, understood his message to me and wanted to support him in his journey through space and time and so I practiced loving him and letting him go.

I am still practicing.

My father passed about a year after my walk on the beach. He went relatively quickly and peacefully.

I hope he is enjoying his freedom from the body. I hope that I was supportive to him. I hope I did enough.

I look forward to having another visit from his spirit self when the time is right.
but for now I practice loving him and letting him go.

My father was an explorer and an adventurer at heart. I imagine he is off exploring the great unknown. I hope that he is having a great time.

On a side note my father once asked a group of family members what brought them great joy. His answer to this question was seeming his kids happy. What brings me bittersweet tears of great joy is thinking of my father as truly happy.

Fly free Daddy, and much love.
Fly Free.

~Hayley Mermelstein