Everything You Want is Right Outside of Your Comfort Zone

Everything you want is right outside of your comfort zone.

I saw a postcard the other day that said: Everything you want is right outside of your comfort zone. I’m not sure if this is entirely true, but for the most part, the postcard had a good point.

As I looked at this card, I couldn’t help but reflect on a time in high school when I wanted to ask a boy to the prom. I had had a secret crush on this boy since I was 13 years old. I was too shy at 13 to say anything to him. The years went by and we were in different classes and had very little contact. When I was a junior in high school I was floundering hopelessly in advanced French and switched in desperation into a remedial French class. And there, in that class, much to my surprise, was the boy I had liked since I was 13 years old. I was seated right next to him. He and I became fast friends often talking before, after, and sometimes, during class. Even though we were clearly friends, I still sensed that he was somewhat oblivious about my feelings toward him.

Somewhere towards the middle of the year, I had a knowing that I wanted to ask him to our high school prom. This was definitely, without a doubt, outside of my comfort zone. This wasn’t something the girl did. What if he rejected me? Does he even like me at all? Am I making a fool of myself? All of these thoughts swirled through my head.

I still remember sitting by my phone with his phone number in my hand. I sat by the phone for two hours mustering up the courage to call him. I remember that I cried and didn’t think I could do it. I didn’t have friends I could talk to about this at the time and didn’t feel comfortable getting advice from family. So I sat on the floor in my bedroom and cried. Everything I wanted was indeed outside of my comfort zone.

I finally picked up the phone and called the phone number. I remember feeling sick to my stomach. His mother answered and handed the phone to the object of my affection and I simply asked him if he would like to go to the prom with me. He thought for a moment and then said, “sure.”

I wave of relief washed over me. Not so much because I got what I wanted, but rather because I had faced my fear and took action. If I remember correctly, I got off the phone and cried some more.

Two weeks later this boy called me asked me if I wanted to go out to dinner. We went out to dinner and thus began our three-year (very meaningful) relationship.

Everything you want is right out side of your comfort zone.

These days as I think about some of my next steps in life, I once again feel some of the fears that I felt at 17 years old. Old fears and even terrors come to the surface. I even thought to myself the other day, I can’t do this. I can’t do the things that I’m being asked to do. Fear and parallels overtook me.

In that moment, I did what I often do in these sorts of moments and I sat down and did a meditation. In that meditation a very simple phrase came into my head. The phrase was: I can do this.

As I sat in the stillness, as I sat in the fear and the feeling I can’t do this, somewhere from deep within a voice echoed: I can do this. I can do this.

The smaller me said, oh, yes, I remember now, I can do this. I forgot, I could.

I started sending love to the part of me that was afraid and trembling:

I love you.
I love you.

It’s going to be okay.

I can do this.
I can do this.

I love you.
I love you.

I can do this.
I can do this.

I love you.
I love you.

I can do this.
I can do this.

And slowly, the feelings began to evolve and change. I quiet confidence and power began to arise in me and I began to grow a little stronger.

I love you.
I can do this.

I love you.
I love you.

I can do this.
I can do this.

I can do this.

I am confident.
I am confident.

I am powerful.
I am powerful.

I know who I am.

I can do this.
I can do this.

Now I would like to tell you that this is where the story ended and that I lived happily ever after never to face this particular fear again. But alas, that is not so.

I came out of the meditation stronger, only to forget the very next day all that I had just remembered.

(Reprogramming our mind and bodies is a process for sure).

And so, I sat in mediation the next day. The fear arose again and once again I heard the voice say: You can do this. You can do this. Oh yes, I forgot. I can do this. I can do this. I love you and I can do this.

And so it is a process, of stepping into our confidence and our power. Some days it comes naturally and some days we have to dig deep. Some days we feel like we are failing but even still we are moving closer to finding our strength and our confidence and our knowing that we can do that which is ours to do.

Everything we want is indeed right outside of our comfort zone. If this is the case then we are going to have to dig deep, find our confidence and wisdom, find our courage, send lots of love to ourselves and when the time comes to jump, we will need to jump.

We may still find ourselves crying on the bedroom floor sometimes but still, even so, if you listen deep enough, you will find there is a quiet voice within whispering to you. It is saying: You can do this. You can do this. It’s going to be okay. You can do this.

Blessings to us all.

Have a good weekend everybody. And if you liked this post and want to join with others who are working on overcoming there fears and stepping into a more empowered version of themselves please feel free to join our next group healing on Monday May 21rd or our weekly Thursday night meditation class. Both groups start at 7 p.m. and our drop in.

Sincerely,

Hayley Mermelstein

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