All Dressed Up and No Where To Go.

Hello Everyone,

I wrote this blog post a couple of years ago and just rediscovered it recently.  I thought it would be a good time to share it with all of you.  It’s about learning to embrace rejection rather than fearing it.  And it’s about learning to see rejection as one of the ways that the universe guides us to where we need to be.

All Dressed Up and No Where To Go.

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”  ~Helen Keller


It was a Saturday night and I was racing around getting ready to leave for the party, when the phone rang.  It was the host calling to ask me NOT to come to the gathering.  He said he didn’t think it would be my scene.

I got off the phone, feeling a little dazed by the sudden change of plans, and slowly, it began to dawn on me, “ I think I was just uninvited from this party.  It’s not that I would be uncomfortable, it’s that he didn’t want me to be there.

As I sat on the couch “all dressed up with no where to go”, I remembered the wise words of my teacher, Ellen Tadd, “Rejection is the universe telling you that you are going in the wrong direction”.  Even though there was a part of me that wanted to react, feel hurt, and feel sad, another part of me knew that this was the universe guiding me.  I’ve been taught to welcome rejection (not always an easy thing!). The words,  “Rejection is the universe telling you that you are going in the wrong direction echoed through my head.”

You see, I had felt mixed about going to this party as well. Partly because I was enjoying my time at home and partly because I wasn’t sure if this group of people was right for me anymore.  As I sat and reflected, I couldn’t help but feel the hand of spirit guiding me, confirming in a way, what I had already suspected.  The gap between where I was at and where they were had grown too wide.  It was no longer where I belonged.

I sat quietly on the couch, enjoying the quiet and feeling a little nostalgic for times past where this had been my right place in the world.  I sat alone, aware that one door of happiness had just been closed, unsure of where the next door was or when it would open.  A chapter had just ended and a new chapter yet to have begun.  I sat in the void with nothing to do but trust the next chapter of my life would unfold in its own time.

Why do I tell you all this?

I guess it’s just a reminder that rejection is not bad.  That rejection is part of how the universe guides us to where we need to be.

As I sat quietly on my couch dressed for my party, with no party to go to, I realized what I really wanted was to meet new people who resonated more with the person I’ve become rather than the person I had once been.  As I sat on the couch I quietly asked the universe to guide me to where I needed to be, to bring the right people into my life, and to show me where I belonged.  I asked the universe to guide me to my next chapter.

As I write, I hear these words:

“Always remember that rejection is the universe telling you that you are going in the wrong direction.  Remember that rejection is not bad.  Learn to welcome rejection so that you will know where you do and do not belong at this time.  Experiencing rejection will create a void in your life, which will help open your energy to the new. 

And so open to the new now:  Open to new opportunity.  Open to new people.  Open to a new chapter.  Allow rejection to be part of what guides you to where you need to be.  Do not be offended by rejection instead seek to understand.  Rejection is not personal.  It is simply the universe showing you were you need to be.  Seek to understand rather than be understood.  Seek to be gracious.  Seek to allow the universe to guide you rather than be willful.  In that way you will know where to best put your energy and your attention and your focus.  The universe is always speaking to you if you will but listen.”

In a weird way, my friend was right.  This party was no longer my scene.

And so, over the course of the following week, I surrendered, I understood, and I allowed myself to be guided.  And for now, I sit in the void between where I once was and were I will go in the future, and I sit and enjoy the quietude knowing that everything changes and that when the time is right, I will be guided to my next door of happiness.

Have a good weekend,


Hayley Mermelstein